Forgiving myself?

[True2myself Participant]

Hi there. Have any of you forgiven partners and tried to move forward but your mind is stuck thinking… How do I forgive myself for forgiving them… Maybe forgiving them is wrong word, just putting up with it.

I’m in turmoil with these thoughts.

Hope this made sense.

[Soulsearcher18 Participant]

Hi True2myself
If you are still in an abusive relationship, it is likely that you will keep going back to questioning yourself about your decision to put up with it. This is because the behaviour is on him, not you and there is only so much you can take before you start questioning again. Perhaps it is because deep down, we may not know and understand it all but we feel that it isn’t right.

If you have left the relationship, perhaps we sometimes put up with the behaviour because it’s what were are used to, it sometimes may seem the easier thing to do and it is what is the norm. It can be difficult to put in some boundaries and to keep them in place as they are very good at challenging them and trying to break them.

I hope I make sense too?!

Soulsearcher

[True2myself Participant]

Hello thank you for your reply. I can’t go into details cos it’s really obvious if I did but I’m basically still living with him, I have somewhere else to go if I need a break though. He knows I’m about to give up on him and I’m so messed up by his behaviour and he says he’s devastated at what he’s done. 🙄I dunno but I was upset last night and he comforted me telling me don’t worry it’s all his fault and I’ve been conditioned to be like this by him and he’s so sorry. I think this isn’t even about him anymore, it’s about me crying my heart out cos I don’t understand why I’ve let him do the things that he has. How do I make peace with that sorta thing. I feel so gutted about this, maybe that’s a sign of what I should do next.

Thank you just really need to say it to ppl who might understand

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