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[Twisted Sister]

I have struggled massively with stalking,to deal with it, to know how to stay under the radar, what to d to keep safe and how to prevent it happening and recover from it.

It’s not something I see on here really and I wonder if it would be useful to have as a separate category?

Also women on here have been segregated into categories which can be identifying, and also womn ned to be as one; I know that minority groups can suffer very specific types and methods of abuse but I feel separating them out is segregation when wewould all benefit from being as one. I know in the past (before the separate categories) as a group we have all bbenefitted from the insights gained and bonds formed across races and religions, particularly at this time of such difficulties.

I hope I am making sense here in wanting to foster that feeling g of solidarity, new bonds and understanding that comes from being together in the forum and working across the races, differences and ages as all have something unique to offer and a wonderful opportunity is being missed to foster this coming together.

I know I have been I involved in threads with women of all ages, races and religions and feel honoured to have been, and enriched as a result.

[BlueGray]

This is what I’ll be visiting my drop in for next week. Need some advice on my ex getting information from neighbours and using the children to gauge my plans and whereabouts.
It’s horrible when they just cannot leave you alone.

[Twisted Sister]

Please share what you find out if u can? I know mine phoned friends t get them to call me and act on his behalf against me so I could no longer trust anyone, but how would they even know you have left the house or gone any distance?

It’s driving me nuts trying to know how to keep safe and one step ahead so I can recover, do you e ever stop checking behind you!?

[BlueGray]

I do manage to forget and get on sometimes. I was very hurt to be told my neighbours had aided the abuse.
I keep reading about n**********c behaviours, I think the deal is to not let them see you’re affected. Which feels absolutely impossible.
Information that was shared by him with mutual friends came back to me and I passed this on to the police.
Sometime I feel reporting is a waste of time, but somewhere along the line it has to build a bigger picture.
I will share any info, leaving abuse is like entering into another kind of wierd world. Finding the coping mechanisms is so hard.

Are you a distance away from the perp?
I’m not so.

[Twisted Sister]

Yes, we are a long way awau and shortly going to be a lot further hopefully.

It does feel such a betrayal from those yi thought you could trust to have your personal life given out like this to someone you are no longer with, why is that OK to anyone, but I guess when they turn on the ‘poor me\so worried’ mode it does gain sympathy, such a shame their manipulations work so well, the guilt trips.

[Lisa]

Hi Twisted Sister,

Thank you for your feedback on the Survivors’ Forum. Development is ongoing so we are always happy to hear of suggestions as to how we can continue to improve the Forum.

Best wishes,

Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

thank you for your acknowledgement Lisa, i appreciate it, and hope you understand my sentiments in the changes I have mentioned.

[Benson]

I had to comment on this post as I was stalked and harassed by my ex partner, so much so it became too dangerous and I had to move with my young child hundreds of miles away. It really affected me and I was unable to go out. He would try and run me over, run me off the road, make threats with weopan S and the list goes on. I was recommended to contact Pallidin the National Stalking helpline- they were amazing, they supported me by contacting the police (making them take things seriously) emotional support and more. Please if anyone needs support contact them. I have disappeared so no one knows where I am, but still get the odd dodgy phone call and packages sent to a family members address, so It’s not over yet! Mostly recently a fake social media account set up in my name! I know if or when he finds me I know that I will be put in a very dangerous position, but for now I am able to go out of my front door and experience things I haven’t done in a long time!

[Twisted Sister]

so sorry to hear all this Benson. I cannot escape it it seems, but just how do they find numbers or track us?

I have used palladin in the past when i had to report a teen stalking one of my children, and they couldn’t seem to care less! Actually, it came to a head in school, when a teacher got involved and then it was taken seriously, but Palladin just brushed it off. The teacher got involved however and reported it as a school, and severe actions were taken!

I worry about saying anything to anyone because so many of my changed phone numbers get called with mass silent messages!? noone can explain, and police definitely not interested.

[Benson]

I know the police were not interested until Pallidin got involved. It’s sad that I had to move away and leave everything behind – I couldn’t take anymore. Photographs of me cut up were sent, he would watch my house. I have a restraining order from the DV conviction against him but still that wasn’t enough to keep him away. He is now asking friends where I have gone and obviously they do not know – he has said he will find me!

[Twisted Sister]

Oh Benson.. i do feel for you, its so horrible and seems impossible to shake off, that feeling that they could be anywhere. my ex has contacts that will make contact with me and weird stuff happens; its not his style to turn up himself but use others to find out where we are, and how does he track my numbers!!!?

[Benson]

They are very clever, don’t know how they track numbers but they do, I have changed mine so often but still he tracks it and once agai. I have been having weird phone calls in the middle of the night.

[banks]

hi i think these are really good suggestions. Having been stalked and harassed by someone who is incredibly tech savvy and has a lot of money to waste, I found myself unable to leave my house because he would be everywhere or people that I was with would get messages for me when I was in their presence and how many times this can be a coincidence? There are apps, small cameras and other things that they can use to get information, and it is frightening me a lot knowing he has both access and the ability to use them.

[Twisted Sister]

thank you for your post too Banks; i really wish we could be one step ahead of the stalking tactics, and sadly i think we are a long way behind which leaves us open and vulnerable to attack from anywhere.

The last time I phoned the police about all the incidents going on around us, they were so dismissive I just broke down, and left feeling pretty hopeless.

Sharing of anyone’s knowledge to keep ahead of stalkers, and knowing how to present to police/palladin/others sites would be invaluable.

I may recover from some other things, but this stays with me dailybecause you just never know where it could come from or whether you are actually safe.

[Author]

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