Found out something shocking today

[maddog]

I went to drop off some leaflets and was greeted by a woman I did the same job as. We chatted about a few things, and I mentioned that I was getting divorced. She asked if it was hostile and I responded that yes, it wasn’t easy. She then went on to tell me that my husband had arrived to pick up some things, having emailed in advance (abusive she said), and he was furious, psychologically terrifying and threatened to hold her up by her neck. She called the police who took my husband’s things and him away.
Needless to say this isn’t the story I heard.
I don’t know what to say to the social worker who naturally is listening to both of us. I have informed the PC involved in my case. I have been referred to a rape crisis centre and will make contact next week.

What the woman has told me rings true with my experience. My husband has not threatened to hold me by the neck. Not yet anyway. I really want clarification. I have previously trusted my husband’s word and for my sins, protected him. A former friend accused me of not believing her that he had groped her. She never told me more. At the time I asked my husband what he’d done and he said nothing. So I got blamed for the actions of someone else with no information.

Far worse happened a long time ago. I am alone, apart from this recent thing.

[KIP.]

I would give these people’s names to the domestic abuse police and name anyone else you think he may have assaulted. When my ex was investigated for what he did to me the police said they tracked down and interviewed his exes. Abusers are liars and cheats. Without a doubt. Never trust a word that comes out his mouth.

[maddog]

I have emailed the PC who was investigating him. I think I should be told if my husband has threatened to hold someone up by the neck.
When I asked my husband what happened he became very defensive, called all the people involved psychopaths, said the woman he shouted at was a Walter Mitty character. Is he talking about himself again I wonder? He said he was upset when he was not allowed to go and find his things.

I asked the PC if he had spoken to anyone else who my husband sexually assaulted. He replied, no. I know of 2 other women he has sexually assaulted because I was there. His ex-wife suffered too.

[KIP.]

Sadly some police are better than others. Try to always speak to domestic abuse police. You can make more statements x have you used Claire’s Law to see if he has done this before?

[maddog]

I have made statements including a video statement. When my husband last had sex with his previous wife rape within marriage was still legal and I expect that like me, his first wife couldn’t put her finger on what was going on. I thought that I was just having bad sex. I didn’t understand that I was not actually consenting to having my hands moved or being poked around when I was asleep. He told me it was his way of showing affection and I believed him. I really couldn’t work it out why I went off sex and didn’t want to be touched.

[maddog]

I’ve been in contact with the local rape crisis and will be getting some counselling from them. Hooray! I have never spoken about my sex life, or lack of it to anyone.
The SW told me to tell my solicitor about what I have been told re. my husband. I’m not sure what to say to her until I know more about who is telling the truth. My husband said he was ‘upset’. In the view of anyone else, this could well be full blown rage. He thinks the PC is on his side. I really don’t know what happened, but if what this woman says is true, I’m surprised that my husband left with a ticking off and a chat in the police car. Nor do I know if this woman made a statement. I know that there has been a huge amount of bad behaviour in the place.

[Author]

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