Free training courses to help DV survivors

[pigeonperson]

Recently I have been really struggling with CPTSD and feeling like I’m going to be ill and unable to function properly for the rest of my life.

So I’ve been trying to remember what my goals were from way back when I was still trapped living with my abusive ex. One of them was

If I ever get out of here, I’m going to make sure I help others who are going through this.

Do you think that it could be bad for my mental health to train towards doing something to help survivors? I sometimes worry that focusing on DV issues might be triggering. Or would it be fine, knowing that I’m doing something useful? Has anyone got any experience of this?

And does anyone know of any free online training that could help me achieve qualifications so I could maybe volunteer helping DV survivors in some capacity?

I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or even possible at the moment because I’m really struggling with PTSD, but it’s something I have in mind for the future.

[Marmalade]

Hi Pigeonperson
I’ve read a few of your posts recently and can really relate.
I was diagnosed with severe cPTSD after breaking free of my ex. I felt very unwell. It felt like I was having a breakdown. I recognise a lot of the symptoms you have described in your various posts. It was horrific. What made things worse, was the abject failure of agencies to support me. The police were unspeakable and my local DA service did not want to know as they only get involved with women still in the relationship. I had a burning ambition to support and help others to avoid them following the same path as me.
Same views you have really.
So when I began to feel better I applied for positions helping women and got turned down. To my surprise the jobs were going to young dynamic women with zeal but no lived experience. Any ongoing health/PTSD/police issues were a real disadvantage. In fact I regretted mentioning the PTSD (even though I felt recovered by the time I applied).
I also did find it triggering in a number of ways. I thought it would be beneficial to help others but actually it kept me in the DA mindset which meant I could never disassociate from my own experience. I am much happier now I am doing something totally different.
There are IDVA courses. The ones I have seen are in person and payment is required. A lot are sponsored by employers so presume that the person applying already works in the system. I think it is possible to find courses where you can pay as an individual.
From my experience I would say make sure you are totally in a good place and have your issues well behind you before thinking of helping others (the plane oxygen mask analogy) because otherwise the process and the exposure can be triggering. Good luck and feel free to PM me if you like.

[minimeerkat]

hope its ok to say this as although its not exactly what you are looking at doing in the future, it is something i hope someone one day will consider. i also have c-ptsd, & because of feeling so very alone & isolated have tried for such a very long time to contact so many different places for the support i feel would help me so much. only yesterday i emailed the dasgsurvivors to explain my situation. you see i would love to make a connection/friendship with someone who has been through similar abuse. ive heard it helps so much towards your recovery. but with not having fancy phones or doing any sort of social media, it leaves me completely alone. i know so many charities that do befriending services eg. the elderly (because for example they are exactly the same as a lot of us vulnerable alone isolated). so it has saddened me (& frustrated me) that there are not ways to make ‘friendships’ after abusive relationships. & as you know these kind of relationships leave you without friendship & support systems. i am also agoraphobic due to the trauma which leaves me housebound. & although i am on a waiting list for trauma counselling, it would have meant the world to me to be able to connect/make a friend in the meantime. hope it was ok to say this. i think helping others is a brilliant idea to aim towards – i suppose i could have perhaps helped others in a small way if i could connect with them, as its possible that some of our experiences are quite similar. hoping that you will soon reach a point where you will feel strong enough to help others, it really is such a great thing to look forward to doing. thinking of you x

[Twisted Sister]

I find it awe inspiring reading the voices of the survivors on here who, yes, I think often do find an affinity, and some healing, in helping others. There are so many features of abuse that lend to facilitating others on their journeys, but as Marmalade says about making sure you get your oxygen first, is so true here.

There are dangers for survivors in opening themselves to the possible extent of others’ traumas, which can easily trigger their own and then find that they’re actually retraumatising, which is harmful for both survivors.

Having said that, I know many women go into DA precisely because of their experiences, and I do believe they really are the experts at knowing what it feels like, and how it works. I am not so keen on the academics who think they understand it from a book perspective. I have seen, heard and experienced some terrible treatments that stem directly from misunderstanding of a woman’s situation and the complexity of the dynamic. However, equally, there are probably many women wanting to help, that because of unresolved experiences, do not or cannot.

The best training, and supervision after resolution of abuse survivor harms, puts a woman in the best place to protect herself and others. Its not for everyone, but having the passion for it and self-protection mechanisms in place can be very rewarding for all the survivors involved! 🙂

Good luck with your journeys wherever they lead you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Flyflyaway]

Hi, minimeerkat, I feel your pain I’m in what seems to be a similar situation. I’m now agoraphobic and suffer with severe C-PTSD and will not go on any social media. Not only did my ex abuse me repeatedly but my own family turned their backs at me out of ignorance. Then My daughters grandparents have alienated her agaist me too, during at my weakest time of having a miscarriage with a baby i did not want to conceive. Stay strong ladies, Rome wasn’t built in a day but youve got this! P.s I also didn’t get any support from repeated attempts from relevant agencies.

[Footballfan1]

Hello,

If you find a local freedom programme, they are run by survivors.
Not only is it a free programme that helps you understand the cycle of abuse and how to spot red flags, they also appreciate volunteers stepping forward to help.

So on my programme, the director sometimes facilitated the zoom meeting, other weeks it was another lady survivor.
They also had others who took on parts of the session.
They obviously discussed the logistics before each session.
That might be something beneficial for you to get involved in, something that helps you feel like you are contributing to other survivors healing.
X

[Hereforhelp]

Hi Pigeonperson, In some areas there are DA cafes, which have courses to help with C-PTSD. One local cafe I go to have art/craft sessions and all sorts going on. I found it via my local Citizes Advice Bureau, the CAB had a lot of helpful signposting.

For me, I made friends by joining a local group, walks, lunch and eventually I went to evening events (on my own) … it took some time to build my confidence in myself to do it. I now have some new friends. I found it empowering to meet people as the woman I now am.

Have to spoken with your local Citizens Advice Bureau?

Big hugs HFH ❤️

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