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    • #11149
      betterdays
      Participant

      So glad I’m back on here yippee. I were canbreathe before. Just giving you all an update really. Been apart officially over (detail removed by Moderator) months. He’s still saying he wanted some kind of relationship with me he has his own flat (detail removed by Moderator) mins away. Up until lately he were visiting me and the kids but we’re miserable when here having me making odd meals. But when I suggested just me and him going out for the day together he replied oh it’s not same now we’re are not living together he’s stuck between a rock and a hard place. But yet I were good enough for everything else. I’ve now put a stop to this and said he pulls up outside for his son he don’t come to the door he’s not happy with this be said what’s wrong with me coming in the house???. He’s blaming me saying because I’ve kicked him out so many Times I’ve eroded the relationship. And if I hadn’t been so aurgumentative we would still be together. (removed by the moderator). On the plus side I’ve chance of a house that will get me away from the area were he is and my family who don’t support me. Hope u guys are all good x*x

    • #11160
      mixed-up mum
      Participant

      Hiya – good to hear how you are doing!!! 🙂

      Yes I quite agree with you KEEP HIM OUT!!!

      My ex has never been in my house – he pulls up on the drive to pick up my son or drop him off – but that’s it – NONE closer.

      My house is my home, my sanctuary – my safe place, free from all traces or him – I don’t want it tainted by his presence – I couldn’t stand him being in my house – it would make me feel it was no longer ‘clean’ if he’d been in here – ‘tarnished’ by his presence.

      I feel safe and secure in this house – I have peace of mind living here – I feel protected.

      However I can and do remain on decent speaking terms with him and we can still have a civil conversation – just not here in MY house.

      Your ex wants to have his cake and eat it!!! He wants to be separated when it suits HIM – and an couple when it suits HIM – don’t let him use you…..

      Good luck Better Days – indeed let us hope better days ARE ahead!!!!

      x*x

    • #11168
      Peaceful Pig
      Participant

      Hi, it’s good to hear from you. You sound like you’re making great progress and firmly putting boundaries in place. I had over a year of myex continuing to turn up at my house and push his way in when I first left, it really held me back from recovering or even understanding the abuse. I can guarantee that proper no contact made a big difference. Are you managing to get help and support with your boys? As the mother of an (removed by the moderator) child myself I know that change is so hard for them so I really feel for you. You’re doing brilliantly, keep going. PP x*x

      • #11170
        betterdays
        Participant

        Hi p. Pig it’s very difficult with the boys. He’s trying to get me to rent my house out to him so he can bring his dogs back. His (removed by moderator) has them at the minute but shes getting evicted. Guess it’s to suit him again x

    • #11266
      betterdays
      Participant

      Yesterday I felt on top of the world my son has been discharged from counselling and occupational therapy as he’s made such good progress. I felt like I were really strong. But today really low like I miss him wondering if I’ve done the right thing dreaming of the good times. I’ve been more than >(removed by moderator) out it were nearly 2 decades he physically assaulted me in early days bruised eyes strangled head banged of wall he poured cereals over my son yrs ago when he were 5. And he tells me he’s changed loads over years… I feel confused low and thinking he might change….xx

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