General rant

[EbonyRaven]

I’ve had to not get a restraining order because they can’t put one in place that says he has to stay away from me personally, but have to give an actual address/area in it that he can’t go to. As I’m moving to a different area, and he won’t know where I’ve gone to I absolutely didn’t want him knowing where I’d gone.

Logically I can totally understand that if he doesn’t know where he can’t stay away from then that’s an impossible thing, but emotionally I feel I should be able to have something in place that stops him coming up to me in public, no matter where that is, or tells him that he must leave immediately if he happens to knock on a house door and it turns out to be mine, no matter where that is either.

I also know logically that I’m being ridiculous for even worrying about it. He hasn’t tried to contact me except the once, and if he did walk up to me in the street I could call the police if he tried to follow me, so there’s no real reason I have to have the restraining order. I think I’ve sort of tied it to feeling more secure in my mind, and need to find a way to let go of that.

Most days I’m ok, but sometimes my mind worries at this idea round and around, and I don’t want to be thinking about him. He’s an intrusion.

[KIP.]

Get a second opinion. There are lots of different restraining orders or non molestation order. They can put into place whatever a judge will agree to. I got one and it was fantastic for my own peace of mind. However it gave a distance he had to stay away and he came within feet of the end of that distance, so consider the can of worms you’re opening. He also got the chance to respond and challenge it which he used to continue his abuse. Back then I was still traumatised. Given time, when your confidence returns it won’t matter so much because you know the law and the system. And will be much more capable of using both. Don’t let him know where you’re moving to and get your name on the electoral role anonymously so he can’t look there x if it’s the criminal system you’re using then consider the civil law x

[EbonyRaven]

Thanks KIP. You’re right, id would open a can of worms for probably no reason. He absolutely won’t know where I’m going and only people who won’t let it slip know also, so he’s not likely to find out.

I think I’m just really stressed with all the moving chaos so my mind has settled on that to n****e at. Writing it down helped.
x

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