Getting out of bed.

[SyberFox]

I don’t sleep much because i still have nightmares about my abuser. this morning i woke up around 4 am and could not fall back asleep. i laid awake in bed for 3 hours because my kids do not wake up until 7am. The only thing that gets me out of bed now is seeing their faces and knowing they need me to be strong. the depression medication i tried didn’t work, but the doctors wont prescribe me anything else because i have gone through so many medications. they say therapy should be working but it hasn’t worked before and isn’t working now. my abuser and father of my kids took the easy way out, and everyday i suffer through i get more and more jealous that he got to run away from all responsibilities and leave me stuck picking up after his mess.

some days its just hard to stay positive
some days i think it would have been easier if i stayed with him.

[Lisa]

Hi SyberFox,

I’m sorry to read how you’ve been feeling, the tiredness you must be feeling must be making everything harder. Perhaps you could try some relaxation techniques to help with your sleep? There’s some good ones on the Mind Website here.

As you say it’s hard to stay positive every day, and it’s ok if you’re not. It can sometime feel like going back to the relationship might be easier, but remember that the cycle of abuse would continue and most likely get worse. You have done the right thing for you and your children’s future, and hopefully life will get easier with time.

Are you getting any local support? If not I’d really suggest getting in touch with your local domestic abuse service. Many women find the support groups incredibly helpful; talking with other survivors in a safe place can be very therapeutic.

Kind Regards and keep posting,

Lisa

[Tiffany]

It sounds daft, but I found listening to audiobooks really helped with sleep. Other people use podcasts. You just put them on when you are lying awake, and it gives your brain something else to focus on, rather than thinking about how much you need to sleep and about the abuse you suffered. It doesn’t always work to send me to sleep, but it often does, and it also stops me feeling so utterly awful if I can’t sleep. I don’t know if it will help you or not, but I have suffered from years of insomnia, tried various medications and all kinds of sleep hygiene tips, and this is the thing that I found most effective, and was the only one that I discovered for myself, rather than reading about it elsewhere, so I think it isn’t well known about.

I really hope that you can get some proper rest soon. It makes such a difference to everything else.

[Ayanna]

I found 5HTP very helpful for sleeping. It is completely plant based.

Therapy can take a long time to work. It may take years when the trauma is very deep.

[Freedomfighter]

Hi, so sorry you’re feeling so exhausted and low at the moment, I am too. It’s so much harder to function and cope when you’re too tired to think straight.
When I wake up in the middle of the night and start worrying I sit and write down what’s worrying me the most. Sometimes just getting it down on paper instead of whizzing around my head is enough ( with a nice mug of hot chocolate or Horlick) . Other times I sit there trying to work out solutions to my problems.
Sometimes I listen to music.
Other times I just cry myself to sleep.
I think with me it depends on the problem, on how I’m doing etc. Sometimes just some simple relaxation routines do the trick. Try a few different things and see what helps you. I don’t find drugs help me much and I often get side effects.
Hang in there, you are doing brilliantly well. Just look at what you have achieved already. You’re way ahead of me, I’m still with mine, just started to divorce him.
Think of this as the next step. You’re still finding your feet and adjusting to the new circumstances. Teething problems, but you’ll find the answers. You are a lot stronger than you think.
Hugs and sweet dreams

[Author]

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