Gifts and contact

[Diverdi]

Hi all, looking for advice.

I left husband some months ago. Unable to do non-molestation due to technical reasons (not listing here as would likely be redacted!)
Did go to 101 and police ended up interviewing him but no further action.
Am now trying to sort out child contact through courts.
I’ve had issues with him trying to talk to me during calls with the children, despite asking him not too. (nothing threatening, asking about changes in the house he can see on the call etc)
Then a couple of weeks back sent anonymous flowers, then chocolates and bathbombs.
Recently sent message as worried about a medical issue and wanted my advice.
He also uses calls with the children to check on where we’ve been and who with (no that we’re doing anything due to covid)
It’s confusing me as it’s not exactly threatening, but I do find it uncomfortable. I feel it would be pathetic to report it but at the same time want it to stop and for him to accept things are over. I don’t want to be labelled as completely overreacting ro looking to cause trouble.
Any advice at all?
Thanks x

[KIP.]

Report his behaviour because this is how it will be for years to come. Using the kids purely to get to you. The purpose of the calls is to maintain a relationship with the kids and it’s very clear to me that is not what he’s doing. Sending the flowers etc is harrassment. Don’t think by doing nothing or ignoring it, it will get better. It won’t. It will get way worse. Keep a detailed journal of his behaviour. Huge red flags here for all your safety. Do you have an advocacy worker from women’s aid. Please get support from them.

[Diverdi]

Thanks. These little pushes at boundaries are so confusing. Not enough to make me feel in danger, but just a bit uneasy. Feel like I would seem ridiculous to report it.

[KIP.]

It’s his pattern of behaviour you’re reporting and if you speak to a domestic abuse Officer they will understand this pattern. It’s all red flags when it comes to domestic abuse.

[Author]

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