4th February 2016 at 8:34 am #9007vodkamonster23Participant
(Removed by moderator) years free of my relationship but just finshed family court feel odd it’s all over and still in shock I have been left with PTSD and anxiety more lately I feel massively up and down the kids are blaming me for not seeing their dad and he still has text and phone communication with him so it’s a constant reminder he’s there when I just want to forget him. I don’t know weather ikea coming or going most days I don’t know if I should move or not ?? My house at the moment seems like one big stress bubble and I have awful memories here. Last night the kids was in meltdown mode and I really felt like just dropping them all off to him and saying , here u go u do it all on your own woth no maitence money!! He has a job but refuses to pay!!. Iam in loads of debt still and now having to sell my car due to not being able to afford to run it.Sorry I just woke up this morning and so fed up of struggling I feel like giving up today I really don’t wanna be here.
4th February 2016 at 10:12 am #9011godschildParticipant
So sorry to hear you feel so down, they leave you will such a mess and thy seem to get off scott free, so unjust. Is he blaming you to the Kids, my children are both married and its all turned on me, they wont support me in any way and blame me for being a part of the abuse, yet they watched him as children ans he was abusive them both as they got older. Don’t let him brain wash them .Hang on in there, take an hour at a time, try no to force decisions on house until you feel stronger, take some stresses off yourself and be kind to yourself thy are utter pigs putting Women though this. Are your Kids old enough to text and phone themselves in a diffrent room so you don’t have to hear it, if your debts are bad have yo heard about Christians against poverty know as CAB they help with sorting out debts , google it ans see where your local one is xx
4th February 2016 at 3:04 pm #9025AyannaParticipant
Oh hun, please do not give up! Moving is a good idea actually, because in a new place you do not have any bad memories. Can you not sue him over child maintenance? If you do not work you can do this for free. If you work you can still get it at reduced costs. Sue the (removed by moderator) out of him. Social services should be able to advice you.
Maybe you should really send the kids to him. They might come running back quickly and treat you better.
The debt thing is always an issue when there is a change in life situation. Can you get an interest free credit card, for instance?
I lost a lot of money when everything happened. I got an interest free credit card for 3 years to pay that money off slowly. It is alright like that.
Hang in there, things will improve again! x*x
4th February 2016 at 6:13 pm #9036mixed-up mumParticipant
Hi Vodkamonster!!! 🙂
I don’t think we have spoken before, but I just wanted to say I would really be tempted to drop them at their dads and say to him – right you’re so fantastic get on with it – us mums get all the hassle and all the worry and all the work of having the kids – and as you know – we get NO thanks for what we do!!! Dads get all the ‘fun times’ and all the glory!!
So let them stay at their wonderful dads – and see how long then before it will be before they come running back to YOU!!!
And whatever if he was any kind of a decent caring father he WOULD BE paying for his kids – that’s not on – its a big enough struggle bringing up kids on your own – never mind having no financial support from their father!!
Take care x*x
4th February 2016 at 8:17 pm #9049vodkamonster23Participant
Thank you ladies for your replies the kids don’t see their dad (detail removed by Moderator). so they are only allowed phone contact if I deem it appropriate conversation .
He won’t pay the CSA are chasing his a*se!! And he has a job! . Iam just struggling and some days I really do feel
Like taking them round there and not giving him any money and just getting a plane somewhere!! I love my kids so so much just any see much of a future atm
6th February 2016 at 5:33 pm #9180SerenityParticipant
You are right, you won’t ever be the same.
Because you will be an even better version of yourself!
Pull out all the stops to get all the help you can in every aspect, be brave and face every dip and work through it.
I promise that you will co e through it so much wiser, stronger and at peace with yourself.
You won’t ever entertain fools ever again x
6th February 2016 at 10:07 pm #9202Confused123Participant
So true what u said we as mothers do so much and never get the appreciation, just continue getting guidance and support all time, I’m sure the Csa chasing him will be pissing him off , my ex isn’t paying me either so Csa r going to try deduct direct from
His wages , could they not do that for u
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