Going out of my mind

[Alone]

I thought things had taken a turn for the better – boy, was I wrong! I was just reading over some advice someone left me here previously, and that helped a little, but I am extremely stressed and feeling desperate right now. I won’t try to explain what has happened, but things have seriously blown up tonight, and I feel like I’m going out of my mind with stress, and thoughts of not wanting to go through this cycle any more constantly spinning around my mind.

But the most I can say right now is that I am once again being threatened with homelessness. Can anyone advise me whether this is just manipulation and abuse, or if a family member actually can make me homeless?

I’m living with a sibling, after our mother passed away. The tenancy passed down to him, and skipping details right now, he is currently claiming that he has been emailing the council about downsizing. He says I am awful and he can’t stand living with me and he is going to make me homeless. Claims that it has all been getting discussed via email, and all he has to do is formally accept via email and he will get a few thousand pounds for downsizing, and have all his moving fees paid, and I will be given six months notice.

The thing is, my neighbour is actually downsizing, and has been offered a place for everyone living there, no one is being given notice – and the usual procedure is to attend viewings and bid on properties and the highest priority bidder will get it.

There are other details, I have photographic evidence of, etc, I’m just in no headspace to think this all through clearly, but can he really do that? Is he just abusing me in saying this?? I am so sick of this constantly coming up, but I don’t know what to do. Is there somewhere I can call to find out if he can actually do that to me? I’ve put a lot of time and money into trying to improve the living situation, even made myself physically ill over it and came close to being hospitalised with a dangerously high fever over the muck I had to handle.

I can’t take this anymore, I can’t take the constant threats and I just don’t know what to do anymore.

And no, I am not entitled to council housing myself – I have tried that and been turned away time after time.

Stressed out of my mind!!

[Iwantmeback]

Hi Alone, I’m so sorry to hear you’re situation hasn’t improved. I can’t advise you on the housing situation, I think the only people who could would possibly be citizens advice or the council themselves. Did you ever talk to a WA worker, they’d certainly be able to help with how your brother is treating you🙂. Without being too nosey, why would the council not let you have a house to live in, they have a duty of care to supply every citizen with accommodation. As far as i know if you’ve been having mail delivered to an address fir more than 6 months you are entitled to be in that house, your sibling cant just put you out, so don’t let them bully you into going. And that includes a bought house as well as a council one.
You definately need to talk to someone. All this going around in your head with no real answers must be driving you up the wall. Good luck

IWMB 💕💕

[Lisa]

Hi Alone,

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I would recommend that you contact Shelter who can give you lots of advice and talk about your options with you. They have a great website with a helpline number too- https://www.shelter.org.uk/

Please get in touch with them and hopefully they can help you to feel in control of your situation.

We are all here for you so please let us know how you get on.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Alone]

Thank you for the replies.

I’ve spoken to shelter, and they talked me through succession, tenancy, joint tenancy, I can’t remember what she said I am classed as legally, but I asked her to email me the information, and I’m still going through it.

Based on the information I provided, it wasn’t clear who had the tenancy, so I spoke to the council, which has unfortunately caused a major argument within my family. All I did was call them saying I was grieving at the time we were handling things, and I would like to confirm whether it’s a joint tenancy, and who has it in their name. Everyone is so angry with me…

Well it looks like it is in his name, and shelter have confirmed that he does have the right to downsize and evict me. If that happens, I will have to apply to the council separately for help, and I’d be entitled to emergency help such as a hostel, but I wouldn’t be entitled to council housing myself, as I would be too far down the priority banding.

It’s all such a mess. I’m so stressed, and everyone is angry at me for making enquiries, but my response is that it’s the responsible thing to do! Of course I want to know my position and my rights, I’m sick of him holding this over me and threatening me with homelessness, when I’m the only person here cleaning and maintaining the property!

I cant think clearly, I’m too stressed right now

[Iwantmeback]

Hi @Alone, well done on contacting the housing. You are standing up for yourself, looking out for your well being safety and peace of mind. Tough if they don’t like it. What are you supposed to do, sit and wait till you’re on the streets. Taking control of this situation is a huge step for you, you should be so proud of yourself. Of course they’ll shout at you, this is a first step to being independent of them🤝. Don’t let them bully you anymore
💕💕

[Author]

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