Going somewhere else or back home

[Anonymous]

I am thinking of going back to him. The kids really miss him, I could just move back and have nothing more to do with him.

Does that work, not speaking to them? Or am I just having a bad day, feeling depressed. Trying to do right for my children

[lover of no contact]

Definitely don’t go back. He will be worse to keep you under control and he will be worse to punish you for having the audacity to leave and reject him. This is how his “stinking thinking “ works and you can never change that.

You are doing the right thing for your children them not having to witness daily how he operates (which they may copy). Or your children will normalize the dynamic he creates between you and him. Him putting you down, undermining you, his hidden contempt for you (not just you everyone as they don’t have the capacity to love anyone other than themselves). This is a horrible daily environment for your children. They will not thrive in an environment like that. I wish I could have been as aware as you are when my children were small and that I’d put up with the upheaval of leaving. My children suffered so much and self-harmed, binge date, parents of their friends ringing to their school worried about them. The worst of all was my children becoming emotionally alienated from me during to him ‘brain-washing ‘ them against me. Honestly stay away, don’t go back and post on here and ring WA for this difficult part when you’ve just left.

[KIP.]

Do not go back. Do not expose your children to that kind of abuse. They miss the good side of him but it’s your job to protect them. If they missed a rabid dog would you bring it back home? Youre feeling out of your comfort zone and no wonder. Try to find somewhere for you all to start again in a peaceful home. If you go back it will be worse and you can’t ignore an abuser. He will make you see him one way or another. Stay strong. It’s hard but it will get easier x

[Anonymous]

Not going back to him. My sister said she would kill me first lol. I was just having a bad day. I just thought it would be just easier to go back for my children but now I realise no he would punish me, when I said I didn’t love him, he made me jump through hoops saying if I do this then he will forgive me.

Bad weekend that was!

I have looked at a property and I am going to be moving in in January. I can’t wait, looking at getting full parental responsibility as he could take the kids. He is the type to. He would probably say I can have the kids but only if I come home.

[KIP.]

Wow. I’m so proud of you. I know those moments of weakness and I’m so glad you know his game and stayed strong. You know it wouldnt be long before he punished you and the kids would be witness to it too. They don’t need that in their life. These men try to wear us down. They have stamina but so do we. If he was any kind of a decent human being he would move outand leave you alone. I know you will make your new home a happy and safe place for your children and you. He gave you permission to walk away the very first time he abused you. I love your sister too 💕

[Fudgecake]

Glad to hear you’re moving forward to better things. Good luck with the move!

[lover of no contact]

Well done for not going back. It’s so great the support you’re getting from your sister and brother; it really does make all the difference.

[HunkyDory]

Well done in turning your head around. Your children will thank you for it even though it doesn’t seem that way now xx

[Author]

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