Good behaviour

[Velveteenbun]

My ex appears to be behaving , I was expecting him to come round tonight, I know he will be furious I picked our son up before him. Anyway he hasn’t done well so far anyway, whether this is because he is behaving or because my road is closed I don’t know.
Has anyone else experienced this? An abusive partner or ex partner behaving even though you aren’t toeing the line? Did they manage to keep it up and if they didn’t how long did it last and what was it like when they stopped behaving?
(I think he is behaving because he knows anything that could be construed as abusive behaviour is going to mean he is shooting himself in thr foot regarding this whole contact drama he is causing)

[KIP.]

My ex constantly changed tactics. All lies. If I was you I would expect Mr Nice and Reasonable to appear soon. Do not be fooled. Decide what you want and stick to it. Do not engage with him. Let your solicitor deal with him. It doesn’t matter what you do, he will always try to undermine you. That’s why it’s important to get the court order for visitation.did you speak to,your solicitor about a non mol? I think this might be free if there is domestic abuse involved?

[Velveteenbun]

Yes they advised a strongly worded letter from them first. I am entitled to legal aid but my wage last month due to overtime was just over the threshold and thry go on your last months wage slip. I am not doing overtime this month so decembers wage slip will fall in the requirements for legal aid. I only have about 6 weeks now till I get that wage slip.
If he can hold off harrassing me till then it would be great I can cope with collecting my son early for the next few weeks if he isn’t harrasing me and turning up at my house. I know his current “good behaviour” isn’t a permanent change but I am hoping it lasts until I can get legal aid and I am hoping when this mask does slip it isn’t going to be like a pressure cooker.

I probably need to start another thread for this but if he hasn’t been paying me maintenance will that count against him in court if he is arguing about an extra nights contact?

[EeyoreNoMore]

Have you actually asked him for maintenance? You can use the CSA or whatever they’re called these days.

[Velveteenbun]

If I asked him for maintenance using the csa he would probably kill me, I actually don’t know what he would do but I have no desire to find out.
The sight of my phone, with all my mens nunbers in obviously because I’m a w***e, is enough to trigger his anger, a letter from the csa is way beyond that.

[Velveteenbun]

(I have actually been toying with the idea, since I am poking the bear as it is (detail removed by moderator) and  I am too much of a coward. I am worried if I take him to court because he can’t afford that there is a chance if his family can’t lend him the money and he thinks he is going to lose his son, which is how his mind would work he would kill me then kill me then kill himself. So asking for maintenance would be exacerbating that problem)

[Confused123]

Hey Hun

This good act of his is just a act they take two minutes to switch, the mask keeps falling off. Claim the csa , let them face upt o their responsibiltiy and not think they can just walk away from their responsibilties. Who cares if he gets cross, did he care when he disrupted your life, i just got csa to communciate with my ex, let them deal with him , u just stick to no contact

[Author]

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