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    • #31240
      magicunicorn
      Participant

      im currently with an abusive partner, I find it hard to do what I know I should do when we are having a good week. I feel like I cant just leave. I don’t have the heart to tell him to get out as I cant see him on the street, also i would probably get hit. I wish I wasn’t so soft. yesterday i was on here and i rang the help line, made me feel like i actually talk to him and get my side across but then he comes home, actually spend time with me and the girls & i cant do it. i hate arguments. feel like i need poking with a big stick! any advice out there. i considering reading a book on abuse can anyone suggest anything. i will have to hide it though, but i think it will help me.
      x*x

    • #31242
      KIP.
      Participant

      Living with the Dominator by Pat Craven.
      Why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft.

      You can read as many books as you like but he will never change. You are frightened into doing what he wants. No wonder you don’t want to confront him. That’s how they control us.

      Get in touch with your local women’s aid. A support worker can show you how to get out of an abusive relationship. There is no point in trying to discuss it with your abuser. He will twist everything and leave you feeling depressed ❤️

    • #31243
      KIP.
      Participant

      It’s not softness. It’s control, manipulation, brain washing, trauma bonding etc 🤔

    • #31347
      magicunicorn
      Participant

      I do hate the fact I can see how brain washed I am now, although good that I can see. its been going on for like (detail removed by moderator) years nearly now. I hate the fact I always end up going back, I don’t even know why I do cause he only changes for a short period of time then its the same thing. its so embarrassing. especially when I go to work and I say I cant do this and that, its not cause I don’t want to just cause I know he wont approve of it, when I have gone out with a friend (many years ago) he does nothing but ring me and message me. when am i going to be back, im taking the p**s. but when he goes out I don’t contact him at all as i know how he will argue with me when he gets back. we could be arguing about fish and chips and it will always end up that im cheating, i don’t even go anywhere. sorry to go on ladies. i know what i need to do but i do feel scared. hope one day i just wake up and say ” fck it, that’s it i am done”. sorry for swearing. x*x

    • #31378
      Lucyloo
      Participant

      I’m in a abusive relationship both mental & physically we had a lovely weekend! He has (detail removed by moderator) children he was being very nice to me (detail removed by moderator) but looking now. It was only so I could help out with his children as soon as they went home I haven’t seen him since & he’s ignored me until today when I had the I want to be single card again
      What’s wrong with him!!!!

    • #31445
      magicunicorn
      Participant

      my partner has other children, when he has them I end up looking after them and sod off doing what ever, I don’t mind having them but they come to see him not me. trying to explain this to him makes him start and he makes out I have a problem with his kids and I honestly don’t. I find he will pay for some things for the kids but to look after is far to inconvenient for him. tired of telling him, kids don’t need your money they need your time. but as always he thinks he is right.. I don’t understand it either. x

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