Got sucked in AGAIN

[Losingbattle]

So it seemed to be quite a nice weekend. My husband looked good as if he’d made an effort for my benefit. So I found myself thinking, maybe things can change, maybe we can get to some normality. Then later in the day, I tried getting cuddly and he distanced himself. I then tried again later in the night and that’s when he snapped. Telling me to leave him alone. I got upset, which he didn’t like telling me to grow up. I let all my feelings out and told him how unwanted I felt. He started swearing and threatened to leave. I just feel so stupid for thinking we could be ok. Every time I try to get close he pushes me away like I’m nothing. And then I think back to when hes cheated and it makes me feel sick the thought of him leaving and being with another woman. My head is such a mess

[confusedallofthetime]

I hear you. I’m in the being sucked in again stage myself I think, I feel very uneasy as I keep thinking ‘well, maybe he WILL change…?’ but the sensible part of me doesn’t think he will.

It’s because you’re lovely, and kind, and he’s using the last bit of hope you still have.

[KIP.]

Abusers love to humiliate us and destroy our self esteem. He’s hooking you back in. Sending signals to you hoping you will bite then he gets to humiliate you and bring you down in such a terribly cruel way. It’s all pre planned and a game to him at your expense. He won’t change. But you can x

[Losingbattle]

One minute I feel strong and able to say enough but then the next minute I’m a mess. Weak and sitting taking his s**t. Being called names etc. Its almost the norm now

[Anonymous]

Similar situation here, so tired of the hope being destroyed – my own fault, I guess, for thinking he can change.
He phoned me from work last (detail removed by moderator) (NEVER happens) – absolutely lovely, let’s do something at the weekend together, talking about another situation I won’t detail here but admitting he’s a liar in relation to it (again, never admits to this)… stupidly, the conversation put me on cloud 9. He was away for a few days with work, came back (detail removed by moderator) and has literally not spoken a word to me since he came home! I tell a lie, I’ve had thanks when I (detail removed by moderator) but the whole rest of the weekend, after me being excited for it, has been him drinking on his own in another room. I feel so horrible having my hopes raised and then dashed, like (detail removed by moderator) he thought “new week, new start, be nice” and then deciding drink/silent treatment is the way forward come (detail removed by moderator).
My head is a total mess too. Probably what he wants. x x

[Losingbattle]

Thehopethatkillsyou exactly the same here. Tried being civil on phone today while he was out working. Then as soon as he gets in he sits drinking and not speaking. Snapping when I speak

[Losingbattle]

I know its not right. I’m just trying to find the strength

[KIP.]

Sadly you cannot separate the two sides, the nice side and the monster. They’re one and the same.

[Losingbattle]

I sat today going through everything in my head. Mentally listing all the bad things hes done and its crazy I’m still here. Even the 2 times he was violent I stuck around. I know I need to end it. I’m just realising I need to build up the confidence and the courage. I’m planning on speaking to someone soon. But again, need the courage

[KIP.]

Baby steps. Try the National domestic abuse helpline number for a chat x good place to start or your local women’s aid.

[Author]

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