Gould positives and negatives

[Eve1]

This should probably be in the bad day section, ( think I’ll feel like that till I find s in), but anyway.
Im hoping I’ll eventually feel better and that this week I’m still still shell shocked from losing job.
Positive things I’ve done so far too help me feel better:
Spoken to w.a. helpline
Spoken to Samaritans
Been to physio foot my foot
Arranged to meet family friend tomorrow
Decided to start taking v low dose of anti depressants to start me of tomorrow and realised of nothing else I can ring Samaritans ongoing to to talk to them about it.
Read about EMDR (having seen it on here over the years) and decided of i can ever afford it I will seriously think about it.

Negative thoughts and feelings:
Feeling of tight panic and tension in stomach and chest nearly all day.
Feelings of worthlessness and uselessness as in the last 9 months 2 jobs haven’t lasted.
Feeling like when I have a job, because all i want is to support my self and my daughter, I come across as boring and not sociable and possibly scared.
Feeling from childhood when Mum and Dad would argue (fear) still bothering me now (reason I think EMDR) would work.
Lack of energy.
Inability to be positive about finding job. Swaying wildly from thinking of do anything, to not being able to are myself do anything.
Only having negative memories of jobs I’ve done so far.
Thinking of poor mum and hire cruel age is (going to ring her now,!!!)

Just a picture of last couple of days!!!!

Love to all
Eve
x

[Eve1]

Oh stupid phone. I can’t see half of what I type on here. Just ignore the Gould bit!!
Eve x

[Ayanna]

So sorry that you lost your job. Do not give up. Look for another one.
Do not say too much what goes on in your life at work.
Most employers do not understand and will take it out on you.
I had no choice but I had to tell my employer. I ended up being bullied mercilessly.
That aggravated my already awful situation.
I got a new job since then.
Patriarchy rules and women who flee domestic abuse and fight against the perpetrators are not very much liked in our society. Especially male bosses are dangerous when it comes to sharing such secrets.
You will cope better over time. The problem becomes part of you and then you can go to work and not show it. This time will come. xx

[Eve1]

Thank you Ayanna, yes, I think I won’t look for support for myself from the next job I do, out reveal too much of myself if I don’t have to. At least I’ve learnt that. And this week I think I’ve realised I do need support from me. Hence Samaritans and w.a. helpline for a start.
And If/when I do find a job in going to carrying on looking for support for me.
Eve
x

[Eve1]

Should say’support for me’. Not from

[SaharaD]

Hi Eve

I do like this. I shall write it as good news bad news good news.

Good news
-I’ve left the (removed by moderator)
-I have no intention of returning, I would rather die than return
-it’s been the ultimate in lessons learnt and character forming.

Bad news
-I suffered
-I’m still suffering
-My life goals and identity have been severely effected
-My mental health and physical health have been affected

Good news
-I have a good job
-I have enough income from my part time job and benefits to allow me time to heal.
-I am no longer in debt and pay cash upfront for everything now.
-I just came back from a fabulous holiday far away and proud of myself for going all by myself and actually organizing and making it there and back in one piece in spite of struggles.
-I have a roof over my head, money in the bank, a social life, a professional and peer support network and insight into my psychological problems
– Most importantly I haven’t given up.

[White Rose]

Eve I love the fact the positives are there!
Sorry couldn’t post mine as I ended up focussing on the negative too much and I don’t want to fall into that trap xx

[Eve1]

How nice to come on and find my some replies to my post from before.

Sahara D, so great that yey oi have s job and are financially ok. I hope I can day that one day.

White rose, yyes I always have to see some positive. Like Sahara, leaving him is the biggest one.

It’s hard afterwards isn’t it. Nobody understands unless they’ve been there
Thank goodness for this forum
Love
Eve
x

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