5th February 2020 at 4:05 pm #97158thankgoodnessParticipant
I was advised to speak to a helpline organisation so I decided to join Women’s Aid forum. I want to discuss what I have been enduring for about (detail removed by moderator) I have been going through domestic violence (DV). I have been going through Familial abuse from my brother. I was also sexually abused by an ex-friend. I also learnt my brother and this ex-friend have abused other people too so I’m not alone.
I don’t know how I get through all the abuse. It has been a long difficult road. Traumatic.
I am single by choice and I never want to marry. I’m sick of abuse.
This is my story, I hope we can chat, talk and support each other. I really need emotional support, I cried so much yesterday after getting physically abused.(detail removed by moderator) Imagine if he does that when I’m pregnant?? I went to the doctor today. I feel listened too.
God Bless You Women’s Aid Survivors xx
5th February 2020 at 4:20 pm #97162KIP.Participant
Hey there and welcome. I’m sorry for all that abuse you have suffered and I hope we can help you break free from your current abuser. Abuse thrives on silence so it’s great you have found the strength to speak up. Have you ever had counselling? It would be good for you to speak to an abuse counsellor and also have you considered speaking to the domestic abuse police. Whoever threw that hammer at you should be arrested. It’s violent and dangerous and illegal. Could you bring yourself to report the abuse to the police? Once you report it, the police have contacts of agencies that can support you or perhaps you could go into a refuge. Talk to your local women’s aid for support and there is also a national domestic abuse helpline number to speak to someone. You don’t deserve to be treated this way x
5th February 2020 at 5:16 pm #97164fizzylemParticipant
Hey, you’ve come to the right place, or one of them, it’s going to be about pulling in and shaping your support – getting the support you need from those who understand.
As hard as it is to read what you have written, it may help a little to know it is not uncommon for this to happen either, dysfunction creates more dysfunction, and dysfunction attracts more dysfucntion. If there is abuse in our family then it is highly likely the friends and partners we choose will also be abusive – when we make decisions without self awareness. There is some comfort in feeling the same, having similar experiences – a sense of belonging even if this comes with abuse – it’s kind of all you know for years isn’t it.
This can leave us feeling that ‘everyone’ is abusive, no one can be trusted, and like you say, all I’ve ever known is abuse. It wasn’t until I met some people at college, then Uni and at work, genuine, compassionate folk that I started to realise that not everyone is like this, there are some good people in the world.
I feel just like you, I am not interested in the slightest in meeting another man; feels like too much risk; but after years of therapy I now feel I would be open to friendship, and if our feelings developed I would roll with it, but I would never committ to him until I’d spent years of getting to know him first – I’d want to know fully what I was signing up for first. I would also never give my home up again, this I will always keep now whatever happens. I feel this way because I trust my own decisions now and I know I will always do what is right for me, respond to myself, and if it feels like it’s not right for me I will end it. I’ve done this already with a number of friends, so I know I would do the same again.
I am very choosey these days with regard to who I let into my world and life; and because of this I now have some amazing people surrounding me – who never create any stress at all, we are respectful and supportive only – and fun – these folk only enhance life – leave me feeling happy to be alive and in these relationships, and that life is so worth living – so it can be done x
5th February 2020 at 10:54 pm #97195thankgoodnessParticipant
Thank you KIP and fizzylem
I will try to get counselling
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