Grieving for the relationship I should be having with my children

[Falling Skys]

I feel so sad today because I miss my children, they are adults and both have sided with their father.

Its been a few years since I saw my daughter and grandchildren, and my son either ignores me or is abusive like his father.

I kid myself when I’m away from their father they will see us both for what we are.

But I feel now that my children are dead and the shells that are left are a simulations of their father, they are ruined beyond compare.

I finding this part so hard to move on, all I wanted was a loving family that visited me at times now I feel my life will be that of a single woman, which I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t of had the children.

:'(

[Confused123]

HI Lovely

My heart goes out to u , u really seem to be have a hard time emotionally , you really have come out of this so strong , whether u can see that or not i dont know, it is sad that chidlren decide to side with their dad who are the abusers and cut us off, all i can say is u wont tolerte the abuse, they are at loss for not respecting your decison, stay strong

[Falling Skys]

Hi Con123

Thank you for your support, I couldn’t have continued living the life I was living so with or without them my life will be better.

Strong is something that I never see as myself.

FS x

[fizzylem]

Hello Falling skys, I can only imagine the pain you are experiencing, if I had lost my children I would be devastated. Do you have much support? I think it could be important right now for you to be with those who know you and understand how and why you feel like you do. It can be draining when we have conflict with one person, so to feel it from your children as well is going to feel top heavy isn’t it. You need to live your life as you now wish and hope that one day they will come to you seeking a relationship again, or maybe they will come and ask you about what happened, hear your story. We can’t make people listen, and they only really do when they want to know. That time is not now but it might be later. Try to focus on you and giving yourself what you need and keep posting x

[Falling Skys]

Thank you go xx I have good friends and I also attend counselling which I let it all out in. I was or am grieving for the relationship with my children that I dream for not realty that I got. I did the same with my abuser. I’m feeling stronger now it help so much wording my distress. A side effect of my abuse was my silence so writting my feelings is a great step forward. FS xx

[White Rose]

This must be so hard for you. People can “understand” loss through death but don’t have any idea what being separated from their children for other reasons is like.
However you are feeling, and whatever peoole say, never ever forget you are a mum xx

[Confused123]

Hey hUn

Keep reaching out and speakign to your counsellor it willhelp u loads have a way to off load how u r feeling. U say u cant see yourself as strong, thats ok, im the same but others can see how strong u are and sometimes we just need to hear it , your kids will always be in your heart and thoughts , doesnt mean cause they cant accept your decision u are any less, infact even though they not with u or talking to them u r as a mother teaching them something

[Falling Skys]

Bless you WR, sometimes I think it must be me causing all the conflict, but in truth we are all victims of my ex’s abusive game.

Con123 I wish I woke up and smelt the roses earlier and taught them that abuse in any form is wrong.

I voiced my concerns about my son being violent towards me to WA (police involved them after the incident the other weekend) they ask would I report it? I said that I have zero tolerance to any abuse and would report.

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