Guilt

[Chocolatebunnie]

Sorry for posting, feel bad doing this, guilty, and guilty about everything.

I’m struggling with guilt towards my children.

One has just asked when dad’s finding a place to live.

He moved out then moved ‘himself’ back in which I was angry about as nothing had been resolved or discussed. It just happened. We had split but getting along ok, spending time together but didn’t want him here.

Thing is I hadn’t quite let go, trauma bonded I guess, but it all seems like a bad dream what was happening before.

We are getting along well and he’s helping with kids, housework and finances, it’s working for now not perfect but what relationship is?

My mental health hadn’t been great, I’m blaming myself for seeing him so negatively. I know there is or has been problems and things not right but my reactions? My perception?

It’s all been happy until my child asked when he’s leaving again, she wants him gone.

The older children dislike him.

My son (detail removed by Moderator) hates my husband, his step dad, and has said it won’t be long until things go back to how they were, I know it may be true.

I have said I won’t put up with it anymore from my husband.

I have thought they’d dislike anyone I get with, my kids are close to me but I feel controlled by them even. I could be on my own forever if I wait for everyone’s approval.

I just don’t ever get a chance to just relax and think for myself.

The kids pressuring me, not just for this but other things too.

Being told I’m neglecting my kids (by the kids). My friends and family think I’ve done above and beyond to help them. But with this I have let them down.

I honestly don’t have anything more to give anyone right now.

So I’m sitting in the calm trying to find my feet again.

I just needed to post here, nobody will understand unless you’re in this or have been.

[Managing111@]

Hi sorry to read what you are going though,Only I’m going through the same thing.definitely trauma bonding it’s horrible,I think we just want a happy marriage and everything to be great but it will never be unfortunately.I’m going through divorce after many years of trying to make things work and keeping everyone happy and it’s exhausting.My family would never speak to me again if they new i still chat to him after everything he’s put me through.We even (detail removed by Moderator) because he said things would be better only for them to go back to how they were.And yet I still want him dearly,feel like I’m going crazy.I can’t help you but I can understand entirely xxxx

[Chocolatebunnie]

Sending you a huge hug @Managing111@

It’s really difficult and after building myself up, getting him to leave to gradually giving in again I’m exhausted your quite right it’s the hope for happiness.

He’s showing signs of changing, said I do t express myself enough for him to fix any problems we have. Time will tell.

I really hope you’re finding some happiness now, it’s hard isn’t it to move forwards and I hope you find the future you deserve x*x

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