- This topic has 1 reply, 2 voices, and was last updated 4 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
For so long all my nearest and dearest have known that I need to get out of this relationship. When I did and I was deeply heartbroken they were happy I’d found d the strength to. Now.. I’ve patched things up with him knowing it was wrong but to stop feeling the unexplainable pain of losing him. It has numbed the pain and I know it’s a matter of time before he makes me feel worthless again. My plan is to use this time to gain my strength. My issue is I’m hiding us getting back together, everyone still thinks we have broken up and I cant tell them my plan because they wouldnt understand. They will think it’s just an excuse for getting back with him. They see what hes done to me and I fear losing them because of my weakness and lack of self control. This is the first of our break ups where I’ve actually reached out to you guys and I believe it is going to help me finalise the next break up we have. Everything is such a mess. I hate lying.
-
That’s ok honey, you are doing what you need to in order to survive. We are returning to our abusers on average about seven times before the final exit. I understand your reluctance of sharing your return with your closest and dearest, they might not comprehend your actions and you’ll need them to be there for you once you get out again. It might be worthwhile to educate them (and yourself of course!) about trauma bonding and how very strong this bond is engrained in your entire being, it does takes time and effort to break it.
Keep on writing here for support and also call the helpline and tell them you’ve returned, they’ll understand and will be able to provide you with safety tips until you are able to get out again.
Do recharge and gather your strength during this honey moon phase but plan your exit safely simultaneously, the honey moon phase doesn’t last and gets shorter each cycle of abuse.
Sending you strength & keep posting
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
