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I’ve posted numerous times I make myself sick still being in this situation.
I’ve had two weeks of pure abuse non stop no break for me for two weeks which happens sometimes.
He traps me in the car when we’re alone so he can scream at me for ages avoht how I’ve ruined his life and that he can’t see his family anymore because of me all a lie he can see who he wants to see.
It’s like he projects all the blame for his issues onto me everything is my fault. We went away for a wkend and I was trapped with him for two days he gave me a full night of abusive rants then acted like it never happened then started up again the next day. I feel suicidal at the moment I can’t take anymore I’m in the walking on egg shells phase followed by abuse constantly and it’s been like this for (detail removed by moderator).
He’s gone out for a bit (detail removed by moderator) so I went out with a friend he kept calling and calling and saying I was acting supiscious and why wasn’t I answering I was out. Then he cuts the phone off so I know he’s going to start when he’s back later most likely once again. I’ve asked him to leave numerous times over the last few days and he hasn’t gone he says he will because he hates me and our life and he’s miserable why doesn’t he just go??! (Detail removed by moderator). I hate him so much I want him to leave but I’m to scared to call the police or tell people because I’ve had him back in the past I want him to go and just move on with my life it’s been (detail removed by moderator) years of this we have some good times but it never lasts hate myself -
It sounds like you’re nearly there in putting a stop to this. Can you ring 101 and speak to a domestic abuse officer. They are trained and know it takes on average 7 times of leaving before a woman eventually leaves for good. Can you leave your key inside the lock so he cannot get in and ask for a police marker on your address meaning the will respond quickly when you ring. You will be believed. He won’t leave you alone till you make him. Like all bullies he picks on weaker people. Show him you’re not weaker anymore. You’re not his verbal punch bag anymore.
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Hi there,
The thing is there is never a good time to leave + we’ve all called the police or even left and gone back. They’re manipulative and we’re scared we also sometime act out if shame. We don’t want to be seen like our relationship isn’t working. It dosent work tho EVERYONE with these abusive men xx 3rd time lucky as they say – put your feelings of fear and same to one side and get WA on your side then leave safely -you don’t have to go on like this especially when you feel like life isn’t worth living xx I’ve got that t shirt – take the bull by the horns and get the proper help to support u to leave -who cares what anyone thinks most people dont get how hard this is xx much love diymum
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It’s my house I’m not leaving and taking my kids from my home he pays the bare amount to live here. He’s back soon with his children back to my house the hotel where he abuses me 80% of the time. I’ve had plans all week to pack his stuff to get him out I just keep thinking do it next week when he is at work and not here but I’m still scared to act on how I feel because that little part of me is still scared to upset him but why do I feel like that he upsets me everyday of my life.
I know when he goes I will be sad and crying but I don’t care anymore I don’t not right now I just want him out of my life and to move on I feel like that’s it now I’m finally done.
He back soon and I have to pretend and put on the best act of my life with a horrible person who’s dead inside. I just want him to go quietly I hate him.
It’s my house and he wants to call the shots he’s a joke of a man he isn’t a man in my eyes not anymore. I’m in my room now just dreading him coming back here with his kids for the wkend to use my house basically. Life shouldn’t be like this should it for anyone ?? -
No it shouldn’t – I’m a very knee jerk reaction kind off a person and I’ve learned to curb that in my own experience. When I’m done like you that’s it. It’s the wrong advice to say don’t let him in,inappropriate even because he will no doubt kick off even infront of the kids? I’m not sure if you’ve had contact with WA about this, about your next step? I’d let the DV police team know your plan to get him out and get an order to remove him. In the mean time I know putting a face on isn’t easy -can you go to family or friends for a bit until your organised? Does he have a key – I’m presuming so xx this is definitely the biggest hurdle but try not to feel sorry for him these men have a habit of being alright better than us and the aftermath that were left to clean up xx don’t let this go on reach out for help -good news it’s your house xx love diymum
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He isn’t back yet thankfully (detail removed by moderator) it’s laughable I don’t want anything from him just a day without abuse.
Because I’ve had no let up in two weeks it’s very hard to cope because everyday he says he hates me and I make his life awful he just rants at me all the time so I feel like nothing. I don’t even talk sometimes or talk back I just sit there and he still goes on then he runs out of steam and tries to be nice and normal. Because I’m not having a reprieve at the moment from it it’s very hard to cope right now. My children are away because it’s bank hols so I’m feeling very lonely to as their the only ones who show me any love at all so I miss them a lot 🙁 -
Hi Rainbowcloud,
It sounds very tough for your right now. You’ve received some good advice above. Of course you have every right to stay in your home, however you will need some help to get him to leave and stay away. As the replies above say, he is not going to do so of his own accord.
Please consider calling the Helpline on 0808 2000 247, when it is safe to do so, to talk through your options. You may need an injunction to keep him away and I also advise informing the police. Sometimes it is a safer and less stressful option to take a few days away yourself, if you have friends or family you could visit. From there you could get help, make your plans and return with some protective measures in place.
Life can improve for you and you deserve to be free from his terrible abuse, but it sounds like you need to take some actions to get there. I know it’s scary talking to agencies, so perhaps start with the confidential helpline and go from there. It doesn’t matter that you’ve left before, as KIP mentions, many women take multiple attempts to end a relationship, for very valid reasons.
Keep posting to let us know how you are,
Lisa
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