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If it comes to it, How do I cope with it? Rather than burying my head in the sand I need to try and prepare myself for the possibility I’ll have to do it. He was sexually, emotionally, physically abusive. It kills me to think I might have to go against every protective instinct in my body. But the reality is many many women have to do it if it’s ordered and I imagine many of you on here 🙁
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not sure if he has threatened you with court? sometimes once your rid off these guys for yourself ie no contact they do give up. if he takes you to court get yourself prepared. a solicitor will ask for his medical records and police records (probably after the first hearing) on your side a diary off events especially what happened around the kids. the gp to back you on the abuse that happened and maybe the school might help. the fact he hasnt contributed maintenance isnt going to look responsible. my ex did this he hasnt paid a penny xx if you can get this evidence then supervised contact is the best plan at a contact centre xx he might also reniege in this instance x
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Thanks diymum we are (detail removed by moderator) and feels like I’m losing. He’s taken control of things so far even though I have a solicitor. But (detail removed by moderator) and I’m relying heavily on this. Supervised contact I would feel better with at least I know he wouldn’t be able to do anything to the baby but for myself I’ll struggle with it. Unsupervised will kill me. Literally don’t know how I will cope. It’s scaring me to death right now. So many unknowns 🙁
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Whatever happens you will cope. As a mother you dig deep and find an inner strength. I’ve been hurt beyond belief but I’m still standing and fighting. Try not to think about the ‘what ifs’. Take things one day at a time. We tend to think the worst case scenarios and it’s like we torture ourselves. Have faith in your own abilities to read the situation and educate yourself on the system. Keep asking questions. Knowledge Is Power.
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the thing is your telling the truth he isnt but he believes his own lies the court sees through this xx this will take a while so approach it rationally (i know it hard being very emotive) stick to your guns an abusive man is no good around a childs unsupervised biological father or not. witnessing abuse is child abuse. who will take responsibility if something happens? will they? very important question to ask and not be scared too, dont let him take control or he will thats a given. your case is around responsibilty over rights xx hes not being reponsible and you dont feel safe giving your child over xxxx hope this helps here if you need advice having gone through this not that long ago xxxx hugs it will be ok x
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This is something I am facing too and the closer it gets the more I am worrying! I too don’t want to just hand my child over unsupervised. It’s taken months for me to feel secure again and seeing him will make her all anxious again. I plan to see my gp and share my fears xx
I really hope you get the outcome that’s best for your baby xx -
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Don’t know if this is any help; but if you are the respondant it will feel like they are listening to him, especially if he’s rep himself, because he gets to put his case forward first but hang on in there and stay true to yourself. They will have to view the evidence at some point and do want to hear what both parties have to say. The scales will tip at some point. You will be heard. It’s v easy to lose hope and worry it’s going one way, just do what you can/need each step of the way. I’ve read a lot of posts on here where mum thinks it’s dreadful and going wrong then she gets supervised access granted. Stay strong and true x
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