Happening all over again – sat here in tears

[Freetobethegreatest]

Im a f*****g idiot a stupid idiot thinking things could change or get better when i know deep down abusers never change!!! Things were ok for a while but no his true colours are back. I feel sick ive even been sleeping with him again i literally feel sick i hate him what the hell have i done??? Why have i let him trick me???? Im a stupid idiot and dont deserve to live. I wish i was dead then this night mare would end once and for all obviously i cant as i have my kids and i would NEVER leave them with that monster that would be the worse thing ever. I hate him im so Alone 🙁

[Freetobethegreatest]

Sat here with boxes against the door so he cant get in but of course he pushes his way in. Saying he’s the only person ive got that can help me what the hell!??? He’s the person causing all this. And of course saying the pill is to Blame for this its funny cos when im on period thats why im not on period now its cause im on the pill. Anything but him hey??? Unbelieveable

[iwillbeok]

Oh honey! Big sisterly hug for you!
You are not alone- you at the very least have us! We understand and support and believe in you!

You deserve to be safe. You deseve to be happy. You deserve to be loved.

You know that it is him. All him. Nothing to do with periods or the pill! These men, honestly!

Stay safe. And remember you are not alone. Xx

[Anonymous]

Get out as fast as you can and never look back hun x

[EeyoreNoMore]

Aww hun, we all know exactly how you’re feeling. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Reaching out to us is a big step and you’ve done it. We are all here for you.

Can you call WA tomorrow or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline? He’s not going to change. None of ours did.

[Ayanna]

Call the police to help you get out.
Do not feel sorry for him ever again.
Abusers have to be treated with utmost force. They do not understand any niceness ever.

[Confused123]

Hey hun

Sending u massive hugs, hope u manged to get through the night, dont feel stupid, we have all been there where they manipulate us, at least u can see the truth and can get help , call the helpline and get supoport again

[Confused123]

If he gets violent towards u , call the police to have him removed

[Freetobethegreatest]

Went to the police when he attacked
Me but did they just let him come back home?? Yes. It was the biggest mistake of my life because i opened up to the police and they just treated me like some stupid little girl. He brain washed them of course and he got away with everything. He was back that night and it caused more trouble than anything. Would i ever go bk to the police again? No way. I should have known they wouldnt do anything

[KIP.]

Hey there. Ring the police again. You are showing a pattern of behaviour in him. Speak to the domestic abuse police. They have much more knowledge and a pattern of behaviour is good evidence. There are good and bad police. Don’t give up. The fact that you are reporting him again will help your case. Secretly record his abuse too! Or ring 999 and leave the line open for them to hear/record.

[Confused123]

Hi Hun

Sometimes we get a bad officer, ask to speak to domesxtic violence unit, do not let him think he has won

[Nina]

I’d try the police again too. It must be so hard after the experience you’ve had before, but their’s always one. The police who are working with me have been fantastic. I had similar dealings with a PC before we relocated who was terrible, fortunately I only encountered him once though.
I’m just waiting to see what my ex does next and still don’t feel safe but I feel a whole lot better knowing I’ve got them. They have supported me as much as IDAS, they believe me and can see through his lies unlike all our friends that he’s crying victim to.
I found just them telling me that his behaviour is wrong and that I wasn’t to blame cathartic and they keep on telling me that whenever I have a wobble.
I just hope that all police forces are the same and it’s not a postcode lottery.

[older lady]

You are not stupid because you gave someone a second chance, that’s what a normal, caring person does. They listen to someone else’s point of view and give them the benefit of the doubt. You want a normal family relationship and you want this to be a normal family problem that is resolvable. Unfortunately domestic abuse is not a normal family problem. You did not ‘let’ him trick you. He deceived you, and anyone, whoever they are can be deceived by someone determined to get what they want. You have also now been let down by someone wearing a uniform and a badge who has procedures to follow when it comes to responding to domestic abuse, which is why the ladies are right that you should persist in expecting the police to protect you from further abuse. They are accountable for their action and lack of action. Domestic abuse makes us feel so very isolated but being on the forum and reading and going to my local Women’s Aid and speaking with other women has made me realise that I am not alone in the issues I face. It has helped me to understand that its a worldwide social problem and that many, many women are dealing with this right now. I can accept that it’s not something I have done wrong, it is something I have been a victim of. xx

[Author]

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