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Just wanted to come on her and wish all you guys a happy Christmas. Christmas can be a pretty lonely time but we are all still here fighting to make better lives for ourselves and our kids (if you have them) We are all strong and can’t let our abusers take that away from us no matter how hard they try. Mine has already tried to ruin Xmas eve so I went out and saw my friend who cheered me up a bit. Remember, you are stronger than you think, it will get easier x
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Happy Christmas to all the strong, lovely survivors on here! I cannot thank you enough for your words of encouragement and wisdom over the year. This is my (detail removed by moderator) Christmas without him, since well, since I met him… a very long time.
I was doing ok until just now when I popped on FB and saw all my friends’ Christmas wishes. I have the kids, thankfully, but it’s going to be so different… hopefully (& so far so good) much more peaceful!
Take care and keep strong x*x
Iwillbeok
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Hey Iwillbeokay. My first Christmas was very strange. Been together decades but the anticiaption of it being bad quickly left as the true peace and quiet shone through. No walking on eggshells, trying to limit his drinking because I believed it was the cause of his abusive behaviour, silly me. The kids doing what they wanted, when they wanted. No dragged to his alcoholic brothers to sit with family he couldn’t stand. No nagging because I wanted to stay in my pjs. I hope you start making new good christmasses for you and your children. He lost the right to be part of the family when he destroyed it with his dysfunctional abusive behaviour. You can do this, you can show your kids they have choices not to let abusive people control and bully. I have the remote control all to myself too 😈
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Hey KIP! Had to giggle at the remote! One of the 1st things I did was delete all his tedious TV shows/recordings!
I have planned a simple Christmas – not the usual, crazy making, busy cooking+cleaning+wrapping+shopping!! I realise nkw, I was trying to impress him. It was the one and only thing he would compliment me on without any back-handed put down, was my cooking. He couldn’t afford to reduce my self-esteem on that score – he loved his food!
We’re just going to take it easy, and not expect too much of ourselves. It’s already more peaceful than it was in the past…
And I don’t have to work around his lazy, bah humbug, arse!! 😈
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Hapoy Christmadms to you all wherever you are in your journey.
I feel settled this year – he’s out of my life and currently away from the town where we both live – which is even better.
It’s me and my daughter this year and she’s so excited as for the first time she’s done all her own present shopping. We’ve been to see family today – our family acquired by marriage to him – but they are OURS they blank him totally which gives me a warm loved feeling inside! -
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First Christmas alone after leaving (detail removed by moderator)ago.
The build up has been great but the last day or so I felt so anxious. I’ve not slept well and been irritated. Realised just now that this is because I hated Christmas with him so much I used to get this wound up every year at this time.
I’ve just laughed as I figured this out. Why didn’t I see it earlier. Fingers crossed this Christmas starts a tradition of good Christmases not bad ones.
Actually I don’t need to hope, I know it will.
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