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I have been through the worst of it. There has been a police order in place for months after the disgusting and persistent unwanted calls to myself, work and family.
As I predicted with this time of year it has ramped up again. More calls to me from unknown number that I will never answer day or night. And now another ranting voicemail left with a family member.
I have been strong and not responded in anyway to calls or the hundreds of emails. There is a problem with alcohol.
I am so conflicted about taking this further through the courts as it feels like giving in and reacting to it which is all it wants.
Do I ride out the latest storm or take a stand? I have no doubt that the amount of attempts at unwanted contact combined with the order in place will result in jail time. I just don’t want to have to give this a second more of my thoughts. -
He’s broke the order Kilngirl which is very serious, it shows us he thinks he is above the law and this is frightening – what next? Please call the police – he is not your responsibility. He’s had his warning with the order and carried on x
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Thank you for your reply. I’m so torn beteeen doing nothing and doing the right thing. Sometimes you needs others to state the obvious. x
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Another thought I had, to do nothing allows him to continue to trample your personal boundaries K, leaves you feeling unease and angst and it puts what you think he needs before what you need.
Part of healing after abuse is to see and learn the value in our boundaries, as this gives us what we need, they help us to meet our needs, they help us to respect the self and others – they give us self respect, self worth and confidence when we uphold these and operate with these in place everyday – and they also protect us.
Oridnarily, you don’t have to uphold boundaries – most people simply get it, get that respect for others is always needed; but on occassion you will find that somethings are not right for you when dealing with a person and you will need convey this with respect and why. Do this now and the rest of the time may well feel just that bit easier to do in life when you come across the need to communicate your thoughts, feelings and needs when with others; you can look back to this and think that was a hard, I wasn’t sure at the time so I took my guidance from knowing what was the right thing to do – and it turned out this was the right thing to do – I will always do this from here on in now, do what is right and what is right for me – when we do this we have more chance of success and things going right!
Not that this is important, but have you considered that if he does get jail time then this could sober him up? Be exactly what he needs? That will be down to him of course, he can either let it sink him or use what has happened for growth and change – whichever he chooses this is not your problem x
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i agree with the above xx it wont be you thats dealing with him your flagging this up to the police. the police will do their job in keeping you safe and other people. this is stalker behaviour and this can escalate. i always say safety has to take prioritie and he has to have consequences other wise he will never learn. this is how life works he should not have crossed the line. this is cause and effect and youve done nothing wrong. if you report him you can hold your head up high because you did the right thing xx
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Thank you both so much for your replies. It is so helpful. I’m so broken and know I am still deep down protecting the monster because it’s how it made me react time and time again. The burden of knowing any significant time of year will bring this cr*p takes real emotional and physical toll. I have contacted a solicitor and will go forward knowing myself and what I will no longer tolerate.
Thanks again. Much love xx
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