Harassment – advice

[Hetty]

I’m really shook up! My sons’s dad has reared his ugly head. Him and a relative have been at my door. I’ve contacted 101 and reported the incident. He’s an alcoholic and hasn’t had contact for a long time but every now and again he tries to work his way into my life. He’s not the person I’ve recently left. We’ve been separated since my child was a baby.
What can I do to keep them away? The police have said they aren’t being physically aggressive. On the surface it’ll just look like concerned family wanting to see my child but there’s so much history. I honestly don’t know how much more I can take!
They’ve threatens to report me and contact my work. I’m not concerned as I’ve done nothing wrong but I just want these people out my life and away from my child. How dare they turn up and make us feel so violated 😢

[KIP.]

They’ve turned up uninvited knowing they’re not welcome, Harassed and threatened you. Making you feel fearful and distressed. That’s an offence. The police should be taking this seriously and issuing a warning to him. Don’t back down. Talk to a supervisor at the police and insist they issue a warning. Talk to your local women’s aid too. Get their support x

[Hetty]

I’m waiting for police to call me back. It was awful. They were shouting through the door. People who don’t understand domestic abuse etc will not understand. It probably sounded trivial to the police. If it’s not one things it’s another 😞

[Hawthorn]

Hi Hetty,

So sorry this has happened to you. Just wanted to send a hug. You are so strong, you can deal with this too. Shouting through your door is harassment. Tell the police that you want this unacceptable behaviour dealt with. If necessary state you will make a formal complaint and ask for the officers name and badge number. Its unfortunate but the squeaky wheel gets the grease and you should not be expected to deal with this alone. You got this xx

[Empoweredhealing]

Stay strong Hetty. What they are doing is harassment. Keep talking to the police until you get someone who understand and can advocate for you.

[Hetty]

The police have rang me back. They said they’ll investigate a public order offence. I imagine it’ll be way down on their list of priorities. In the meantime I’ve emailed a short message advising to stay away and to pursue legal routes re contact. The police said they have to make a child concern report and they are referring me to the local domestic abuse and victim support services. I think knowing I’ve split with my husband my child’s dad thought he could up the anti with me. Feeling totally worn out now xx

[Eggshells]

Hi Hetty, I’m so sorry that thus has happened to you. I don’t think you and I have exchanged messages before but I’ve seen a lot of really supportive messages from you. You’re so kind and you have great wisdom and strength. You will get through this in the same way that you have got through everything else, one step at a time.

You’ve been so strong to pursue this with the police and not let let them fob you off. It is exhausting but you can do this. You’ve given do much to the forum, time to draw some strength from it now. xx

[Hetty]

Thank you for the support and wise words. Themis forum is like a beacon of light ❤️

[gettingtired]

So sorry Hetty, how awful for you.
I agree with Eggshells, you are always so kind and supportive on here xx

[diymum@1]

Let them do there job all sounds quite positive tho. Harassment works like this. If you tell him by text to stay away your warning him. Then don’t converse. If he does this twice then this is harassment. That is in law – hopefully you will be able to get a restraining order moving forward xx keep the contact supervised at a contact centre now let them know your fearful xx

[Lottieblue]

Hetty, I’m adding my support too. You’ve been close by on my journey too so I’m always keeping an eye on you. This sounds really horrible and I hope you are able to get it sorted quickly.

We’ve all got your back x*x

[Hetty]

Thanks so much everyone. Your support is very much appreciated ❤️
I won’t be allowing any contact. His dad is an alcoholic. He’s proven himself to be unsafe on more than one occasion so he’ll have to take me to court. Often with these men if you give them enough rope they hang themselves. I used to allow pretty much as and when access years ago but no more. Bring it on I say. I’m drawing a line under this mess too. Never again am I wavering on my boundaries or putting up with this behaviour. They can take their drama somewhere else xx

[diymum@1]

Your doing the right thing I did the same contact wise with my child best thing i ever did xx

[diymum@1]

As in no contact!

[Author]

Posts