Hard staying positive when everyone's negative

[Anonymous]

Hi This may sound a little odd but it is hard staying positive when everyone else is negative. They all say I am negative & they are positive. I’ll try my best to explain this, I struggled like crazy after I left to do the no contact, was an absolute idiot but I still felt sorry for him, despite years of mental torture from him, I still felt guilty leaving, I had spent years wanting to escape & feeling desperately trapped. The feeling of going to bed each night & not wanting to wake up in the morning. Through phone contact & him terrifying me to the extreme I ended up in a mental health hospital. Again idiot as allowed him to visit, Felt quite sure he had finally realised the damage he had caused & was sorry!! Anyway I finally woke up & absolutely knew 100% no contact, I was able to although now finally completely broken & having hit complete rock bottom see the dreadful harm he’d caused me. I confided in those close what an absolute idiot I had been, Tried to explain how abusers make you feel, the aftershocks & realisation of years of Abuse. Something I had struggled to accept when with him as felt worthless useless, like an unpaid prostitute, like a slave, all the things I had been left feeling, The absolute shock I have felt at mosts response of “Then why did you let him baby in” “You are so negative he’s moved on” you know when you 100% know you’ve been seriously or severely abused, it’s like this massive electric shock, but you have to come to terms with it, You relive it again & again, even though you don’t want to you do. Everyone sees small steps to positivity but then you slip back a few steps, you can’t help it, it’s what happens. I get told just get over it! As soon as I take positive steps forward someone will say Oh I don’t think you should do that, yet it’s what I know I need to do. So yes why are people so negative when you are feeling positive x

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[Confused123]

HI Hun

These people that u are chatting to clearly dont understand how abuse leave u feeling, sometimes family dont even understand, thats why this forum is a blessing, i found i got releif by chatting to a cousnellor , chat with these people but dont disclosde your feelings, post on here as much as u need to if u feeling low. Look around u who is your positive support and who is your negative support . Start trusting yourself and the decisions u make and ignore comments from others, this is how i moved forward

[Anonymous]

Hi confused123 that’s just it I have no support network outside of here no one believes me or understands It is so frustrating & when I have a meltdown & cry because someone’s said something or done something that’s resembled him, I try to explain why I’ve got upset, why I’m shaking They are convinced I’m mental when I am not & the best thing they come up with is basically the attitude of Oh just get over it x

[Serenity]

You’ve got to be very choosy about your company whilst you’re in recovery. Surround yourself with those who understand and support you.

It can set you back spending time with those who minimise the abuse and its effects, rush your recovery and take the opportunity to be unkind whilst you’re feeling vulnerable x

[Anonymous]

Hi Serenity Thank you, They do all take my vulnerabilities as a sign to be further unkind. I know I have gone on & on & on about what he did, I just want to forget him but I can’t, By their thinking I’m mental just makes me worse, I have a positive day then crash again & go backwards. When I try to explain I won’t get better over night, but making slow progress & that’s good, That also is met with things like I’m hanging onto grief,my anxieties have taken over!! Yes, I think I know that myself without anyone pointing it out to me
x

[Author]

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