Has anyone done anything similar?

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Haven’t posted on here in a while because I thought things were better. The past few weeks they’ve been getting steadily worse again. Ex keeps hanging round, his immediate family live roads away from me in  separate houses so I am surrounded by all his support network and none of my own. The only family I have live hours away and although his family are as nice as they can be to me I still feel like I’m isolated in as much as if he chose to turn them against me he could. I feel with him and his huge family living so close and him having so many friends in the area I am alone and trying to keep things as pleasant as possible as to not provoke a reaction from any of them. I feel I will never get rid of him. He can’t get into my house unless I let him in as he doesn’t have keys. But he is always hanging round and lurking somewhere. Him and his brothers have to physically walk passed mine to go to the shops. He has caused arguments with me this week over silly little things and cause he was already in a bad mood. One of the times he was shouting at me down the phone so I hung up. An hour later he comes to mine,  gate was(detail removed by moderator) unlocked so he stroles in and continues the argument. I told him to leave and he stalled as much as he could, he ended up screaming in my face and trying to spit in my face before leaving. I can’t get an injunction as I don’t have the money to go to court, I know legal aid has been scrapped, not that he would turn up to court anyway. I have thought about asking the housing association I am with to re house me which I know they would do as they are fairly good like that but I worry that he will find me. He has a lot of friends all over the town where we live, some very dodgy ones at that. I have thought about moving to my mums temporarily  hours away) and trying to get a house where she lives. I know my mum would want to help. But I obviously have my own house full of mine and my daughters things, I can’t run and leave them as I’m in a council house and they will bill me for leaving it full of furniture and clothes etc. I physically don’t have the money to hire a removals van and even then I couldn’t put it all in my mums as i literally have a whole house worths full of furniture and things. I would have to secure my own house first then move all my things and find some way to pay for it all. My family don’t have the means to help me out financialy so it would be down to me which is completely understandable. It’s just going to take a lot longer than I’d like to save. Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense I’m kind of thinking out loud. Has anyone done a huge move across the country before with very little money?

[Tiffany]

I moved that kind of distance, and haven’t looked back, but I didn’t have kids and had parked my belongings down to a single car’s worth when I fled. So it was literally a case of them coming to pick me up. I still live with them too, and although I hope this won’t be a permanent arrangement, it is pretty long term.

Moving houses within your hometown sounds like it might give you a bit of breathing space – so long as you moved to a safe area and the house was secure. It would also be easier to prove stalking if your ex shows up at your new place. Although frankly coming into your house uninvited should be enough to get the police involved. You probably can’t stop him passing the property several times a day, given the proximity to his relatives houses.

It is probably worth calling the helpline for advice. There may be support to move distances to escape abuse that I am not aware of.

[dustypink]

Hi,
You don’t need legal aid to get injunction order, you even can apply via gov webpage, no fees there.
You can get legal aid if you have evidence of domestic abuse – police caution or letter from gp, google! You may call Civil Legal Aid and they will tell you, if you qualify.

[Shipoffools]

Hi

I moved to get away. I lived in my ex husbands town where his family lived too. I knew I’d be a sitting duck if I staying there. If you can get ‘re housed on a different side of town by your housing association that’s a good idea. Good luck

[KIP.]

Please contact your local women’s aid. They helped me with many other options. Ring the police if you feel threatened by him. Ring Rights for Women for free legal advice. I know a move seems overwhelming but that’s because you’re stressed already. There are lots of options but given what you say I’d move to where there is support. Probably back to parents initially. Your mum wants to help x

[Rockandrolldreamscomethrough]

Thanks for your advice guys! It’s really helped. I didn’t know I could get an injunction without paying legal fees! That is good news. I am also looking into getting a house by where my mum lives. It won’t be easy and will take time but I think it is the right option as I will be at the other end of the country from him.

[Twisted Sister]

You could always spend some time up there moving some bits at a time and at least getting a break while you make plans. There is moving help if you qualify, WA will know locally what is available in your situation.

Do notify the police of each incident and do the online injunction, there is also the ncdv who can help with injunctions.

Warmest wishes ts

[Author]

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