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    • #6689
      Moon
      Participant

      Please could someone share if they have expirenced this? As I finally do not feel so isolated as I now know I’m not alone in what is going on but sad that others are going through the same thing.
      My partner is a very angry violent man who portrays every character from the freedom programme but seems to change tactics eg:doesn’t grab me round the front of neck but round the back now so is less violent but seems hurt me more in a sexual way 😢😢
      Sorry for going on but this is the most open I’ve ever been….. He has been showing me horrible videos of people getting their throats cut or equally horrible things (he knows I have horrific nightmares most nights )
      Yesterday he told me of different ways to depose of a body and asked me if I was worried that he knew so much ?
      He told me the best way and where to do it –
      Do you think he is just trying to scare me and make sure that I don’t leave or this is just some sick twisted head working again?
      Not sure if he has an idea I’m thinking of leaving xx

    • #6698
      Daisy
      Participant

      Both, moon , that is my answer,
      Fear is paralysing, and debilitating, and he wants you to do nothing, so nothing changes and it carries on just as he wants it.
      And it is also cruel and sick and very , very concerning,
      he’s not going to change moon,just operate more covertly, and cunningly. If he was going to change he wouldn’t have laid a finger on you since that last meeting and you saying no, would have meant just that,
      I have been on this forum for quite a few years now, and in that time the saddest things of all are the devastatingly , heartbreaking sad posts from ladies who’s partners have caused their children to be taken from them.
      He may be able to pick up something has changed in you, and of course he can’t be oblivious to the fact that there are concerns and he is under question so please stay safe,
      X x x

    • #6702
      Moon
      Participant

      Thank you Daisy and fs for your honest replies. I just don’t understand anymore. The more I learn the more that knot in my stomach tightens.
      Things have honestly been better recently and each day surviving seems easier. He is constantly making excuses for things at the mo, he is tired , hungry, irritated with work,dish cloth not wrung out, I feel I have to let him own me either to punish me or I have to reward him if he has done something right.
      The Sw is visiting again wed and he will be there too – I don’t know if to try and lie and hide and say everything is ok as he has promised once they are out of our lives things will be better , or just be honest although will be very difficult to talk . As if they did step away we won’t have any protection.
      I don’t know what is happening with the legal planning application or if it has been revoked as he has convinced them his behaviour is better

    • #6703
      Moon
      Participant

      Ps
      How can I have any respect for myself when I am just letting everything continue.
      I just feel like a robot with no feelings 😢

      Had a tough evening again 😢😢
      Need a safe hug xx

    • #6709
      Daisy
      Participant

      Moon, only you can decide what you are going to do and why this is best for you,
      Please don’t give yourself too hard a time today and remember who is actually causing all this.
      A loving partner would not punish you,ever but a controlling abuser does,and doesn’t stop unless made to.
      Please don’t fall for the ” things will be different when” line- it’s not the support services hurting you, it’s him, words are cheap , what is he actually doing to show you things are different, and different enough moon.
      X x x

    • #6722
      Falling Skys
      Participant

      Moon please don’t think negatively about yourself. I was so messed up I didn’t know what to do, it was that I broke down and let out to a professional a little what had happened and they told me to talk to Womans Aid that I started getting help.

      And quite a few months down the line I feel guilty and scared that I am going against his wishes. But I do it now.

      You like I and many others do what we do to survive.

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