Have I caused all of this

[Starmoon]

Me again. Mediation have said it wouldn’t be appropriate, and I ended up going into the police because of his threats to come and get my daughter. I honestly felt really intimidated and scared.. we’ve been split up for over (detail removed by Moderator) years but I haven’t felt like this since I was with him and I hate it. The police have said they will speak to him and ask him to leave me alone and to let things go through a solicitor which is sort of good, But I know that will make him even more angry… I hate that I’m having to worry about him and how he’s going to react again. I just wanted to keep my daughter safe but now I’m wondering if I over reacted, If I’d just let her go back, non of this would be happening. I feel so sick, have I caused all this when it could’ve been avoided. I did try to talk to him about my concerns but he said he wasn’t going to read it and it was just white noise, how could I know she was safe if he wouldn’t even accept there was a problem.
This is exactly how I used to feel when I was with him, doubting myself, wondering if I overreacted. I just don’t know what to think.

[KIP.]

No you didn’t over react. I read what he did and he shouldn’t be allowed near any child. What’s worse as you say he won’t accept he’s done anything wrong. All contact is toxic and remember he rules your life previously with threats and intimidation. Giving in to him simply harms your child so you’re absolutely doing the right thing. If he wants access he gets a solicitor and goes through the appropriate channels. He left you with no choice and you gave him way more chances than I’d have given him. You’d be criticised if you allowed access under these circumstances. Hopefully the police warning will be enough. If not they have the evidence he’s been warned. Just concentrate on you and your child. Let him be your white noise. He’s an idiot. Just keep that journal of evidence x

[Starmoon]

Thank you for your reply. He’s made lots of threats to make allegations to the social services and all of the other insults. I’ve had such horrible experience with the ss in the past, they tended to believe and side with him and I’m just dreading everything that this is going to drag up. I’ve tried so hard to avoid this. My now my daughter loves him and I don’t want her to suffer by not seeing him.. but I want her to be safe. X

[KIP.]

She doesn’t understand abuse and neglect so you need to protect her until she does. Keep all the evidence you can x we once loved our abusers and it didn’t stop them hurting us x

[Author]

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