Have I done the right thing?

[Loveis]

I’m sitting here shaking, not sure if I did the right thing.
Basically I called the Police and he was arrested. It was only because he was drunk but things really escalated and it started to involve my parents.
Now I’m scared I have made things worse.

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Loveis

Well done for writing here and I know exactly how scary that is. Letting other people know whats been going on is a huge leap forward and the fear of fallout from it is massive.

I’m glad the police have taken you seriously and arrested him. I can absolutely guarantee though that he wasn’t only abusive because he was drunk. I, and many of my friends have been drunk across the years, and we don’t become abusive as a result. Some men are just abusive, drunk or not, and the drink cannot be hidden behind as an excuse for the abuse.

You are free to act for your own safety, that doesn’t make things worse, but it will anger him, but he will always be angry no matter what you do, but at least this way you have some protection.

Is the home in your name? Can you change the locks to make sure he won’t be able to come in? Being abusive changes his rights to enter a home. Hopefully the police will help you to get a non-molestation so that this man can be kept away from you and you never have to experience his abuses again.

Are you able to rely on your parents for support through this?

Please take good care of yourself after the shock you have experienced. Moving around, walking, listening to music, even if its very lively and active music, anything that can grab your attention and help you to move away from the adrenalin of your experience, engage your brain in something else and give your body a chance to recover. Anything really that appeals to you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Eggshells]

Yes, you have absolutely done the right thing and I wish I had the courage to fo the same.

I totally get how scared you must feel now. It may may things worse in which case it would be a good idea to get a non molestation order and get your hone flagged for priority on 999 calls.

However, it may make things better as he reslises that he can’t continue to fly under the police radar anymore.

Either way hon, you have done brilliantly and there are ways that you can protect yourself now.

Huge respect and big hugs. Xx

[Lottieblue]

Do you know what? any “event” is going to feel massive, and this is no exception.
Well done to you – this may well be the beginning of the rest of your life. It had to happen, and now it has. Hold tight, and work for the future that you want for yourself.
Huge hugs, and keep coming back for support x*x

[Tenerifeseaoth]

I just wanted to say well done. Although this may feel like the worst thing at the moment and like you are questioning if you’ve done the right thing… you absolutely have!

Just like Eggshells said, The non molestation order is a good thing to look into.

This will all feel scary and big and very very overwhelming at times but know that you have done the bravest thing and absolutely the right thing!

Every day will be different but remember why you called the police in the first place and know we are all here to help you try and understand your feelings. Keep posting.

Sending you love and hugs x*x

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