Have I done the right thing?

[NewWings]

After years of abuse and probably, because of this a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. I have since (Detail removed by Moderator) gone no contact with my sister who had been my exes enabler for years. With the help of WA I got him out and was living happily with my two boys. (Detail removed by Moderator) things in the house weren’t right (Detail removed by Moderator) security lights went on the blink and the central heating was running at odd hours. I realised he’d been in the house. Christmas came and went I found out my 2nd solicitor had gone to the wall I quickly engaged another only to find the paperwork was gone! So there I was back to square one then a series of events led me to have a meltdown. A really important member of my family died and another was seriously ill. I had to go to hospital. I very quickly recovered but couldn’t get home as my ex had moved back in. (Detail removed by Moderator) he took the children. Somehow I managed not to go into a deep depression. I am hoping to return to work but the complete lack of support from my mother and sister have blown me away. They seem to think their support of him is normal and he has played his cards perfectly, prior to leaving he would go on and on about his (Detail removed by Moderator) who gained custody of his kids and then his wife took her own life. He would also remind me about my (Detail removed by Moderator) who did the same,he was obviously hoping history would repeat itself. When in hospital my sister came to visit but it felt like schardenfreuder. She briefly spoke of the funeral and then asked me how I had managed to afford a holiday (Detail removed by Moderator). I was nonplused. My mother has already told me she will be spending Xmas with her. I have no one my own age he made sure to chase them off you know the old trick isolate isolate isolate. No doubt he will make it as difficult as possible to see my children. I told my mother that once the divorce was done,I would be leaving simply because I don’t believe he will ever leave me alone. He has been in the house or at least someone has many times since the beginning of the year. The police have been involved and have seen evidence of the breakins. My problem is no one except one individual,believes he has done anything wrong. They think it’s part of my illness. So what is there for me to hang around for more of the same? He has to know exactly what I’m doing etc. My mother even allowed him to take his new gf to stay in her holiday home!I feel bad about leaving my children whatever age they are. I feel too old at times to start again but I don’t have much choice. Has anyone here had similar experiences?

[Shipoffools]

Hi Needing a

Just wanted to reach out to you really….please don’t give up on having hope of better days to come….

I have some similarities to your story…my boys went to live with their dad. I have a very limited relationship (bday/Xmas cards only) with my mother because she was emotionally abusive to me and my siblings not just when we were kids but up to me finding courage to stopped speaking to her. I am close to my older sister tho.

Use this site for support and to vent. And if you can go to WA local groups to talk and meet other woman. Can u get bck in touch with old friends?

U can av a great life without family members…friends become the family u choose. It’s ok to distance/end relationships yrslf fm those at hurt u….

Good luck

[NewWings]

Thanks for your reply my problem is the smear campaign my ex and his flying monkeys went in for. He had to shut me up and I know that there are so many people who have been warned off. He told everyone he could about my diagnosis and my sister wouldn’t have thought twice about that. She and my mother even went so far as to visit my Aunt who has always supported me. Luckily she made an excuse so they didn’t get a chance to trash me. Why would they even bother to travel all that way to make it plain that I am dangerous, most people I think would say it’s between the two of them. My family would say they were neutral but they have made a point of leaving me out. Recently there was no one to go to a family funeral and despite not having transport I managed to get there. What were my family afraid of that I would say something detrimental about them I suppose? I belong to a small community where everyone knows everyone else so making new friends is difficult. Most of the people I know are married and divorcees are taboo. On the upside I enjoy my own company and have been able to learn a new language and a musical instrument. I’m going to look at volunteering or a sport. However, I still think I will leave as I don’t think he will ever stop coming into the property where I may live. He’s in my opinion (detail removed by moderator) and has to have complete control I am not a person to him I am a belonging. Thank you again for reaching out I really appreciate it.

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