Have I made this normal or is it normal

[HeasvHeart]

Is it normal / acceptable to be told to f-off over the slightest bit of a difficult or unwanted conversation or challenge?
I don’t really swear and if i do its more for humour than anything so I can’t relate to saying it and meaning it. So I’m not sure if I don’t like it because I don’t feel it’s necessary to get a point across or if it’s just not ok and not something people in ‘normal’ relationships have to put up with….
Sorry… this is something small again but I feel like I am unravelling so much and seeing my relationship through different eyes x

[EbonyRaven]

No, that’s not normal. A loving partner would want to discuss whatever has come up together, to try to find a rational way to resolve difficulties.

They don’t tell you to f off if you try bringing these thing up.

[KIP.]

I agree with EbonyRaven. The real test is if you tell him it’s unacceptable and upsetting you and see if he continues. Most likely he will swear more if he knows it upsetting you. Look up n**********c behaviour and see if it fits him x

[HeasvHeart]

He’s being doing it for years and I’ve just accepted that’s how he argues. I’ve asked him to stop a million times and he never does. I have been waiting for this recent outburst as right now we hardly see each other and I won’t go home because deep down I know things will never change, and he doesn’t even have the restraint over something small and during this time when he is apparently changing 🙄.
He even managed to turn it around on me and justify it by saying the tone was not how I took it and that it wasn’t over nothing…. so i take that as he’ll do what he wants because he thinks it’s acceptable and will never change.
Thanks for the replies ladies. Have a lovely day xx

[KIP.]

It’s heartbreaking dealing with an abuser. We want them to change so badly, to accept their behaviour is destroying us and to change to the loving partner we once knew. It simply won’t happen because that loving partner doesn’t exist. The reality is he is showing you the real, true him. This is what he is. This is what he always was and he will justify and blame his behaviour away. Meanwhile you’re left totally confused and reality testing. I used to do,the same thing. Your sense of reality and what is right and wrong gets so muddled and confusion overwhelms you when you’re with an abuser. Save yourself. He is not your responsibility x

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