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I’m trying to help myself so I can at least get something done, whilst feeling very low and tearful. I’ve had info from Cruse and have rung them this morning. I’ve been putting it off but I really hope their support will help me. I saw my Dad yesterday, just on my own. I haven’t arranged a specific time to visit again and I’m not ringing every day and I’m happy with that for now. But, I can’t deny to myself the huge negativity he makes me feel and how low he brings me. I feel so sorry to see him cry. It’s awful. But it’s best if I limit my visits and phone calls. I just associate him with this gasping chasm of no hope, which does not help me at all, and it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
Had a horrible feeling this morning that nothing is ever going to get better now. I have no ability bounce back any more. The age I am ( (detail removed by Moderator) don’t think that will allowed to to stay in) has crept up on me and it’s scary. I was grateful this morning as my daughter managed to make it into school, but she’s so negative about it, that brings me down too and right now I feel she’s really hard work, terrible though I feel about saying that.
Thank you reading this ladies. Hope things get better for all of us
Eve
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Glad to hear you have got help from cruse, its hard with your dad having been abusive, but despite that you feel for him, thats because you are normal and caring,good you are cutting down with him a bit. You have your own grief to cope with and dont feel bad about your daughter ,you have a lot to cope with . I remember when my parents died, my Son went through a lot and it is not easy when you are grieving ,its another burden on your shoulders, you need time for by yourself, so dont feel guilty. take care x
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Don’t feel terrible. That’s your people-pleaser voice talking. You’ve been through a huge loss, and even if you hadn’t, you only have so much energy. You can’t take on and solve everyone else’s problems.
In fact, you’re doing them justice by letting them work out ways of solving some things themselves.
Just as we have had to look to the forum, Women’s Aid etc for support, your adult father is capable of looking for some outside help. As for your daughter, growing up is difficult. You can only do so much. It’s good to make our kids realise that though you are there for them, they need to make their own decisions and be in the driving seat of their own life.x
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