Haveing bad Dreams

[Rosemary]

I am haveing bad dreams on and of it Seams I have them more so when my partner gets annoying or if his going on and on and gets abusive when i am feeling scared thinking what is going to happen when he gets angury and abusive. Sometimes it take
Many weeks for me to have a bad Dream but when I have them they are horrible. It’s either I dream about the abuse my partner gives me it comes in to my dreams also I dream about random things I give you an example I dream about haveing a operation
And It was horrible other times in my dreams I am crying in them and I wake up crying out of my dream. I think i understand why I get thease because the truma i went thought in the past and things Ime going thought now also i am in alot of pain in parts of my body . I may had the dream about operation on my hip or leg .

My partner trying to say it could be my depression tablets but it’s not because I’ve had bad dreams years before. Has anyone experienced this and could give me advice and some comfort please. How can thease dreams possibly stop?

[Hawthorn]

Hi Rosemary,

Just wanted to send some support. Yes when I was with my abuser, and for a time after I left, I had terrible, frightening nightmares. I would often wake up soaked in sweat, even the bed sheets would be wet with it. Dreams are our subconscious’s way of processing the events of our day, and when the those events are frightening and depressing, like experiencing abuse, then our dreams will be too.

So it’s normal because of your situation but that doesnt mean its easy to deal with. Keep reaching out here and to your GP, womens aid and counselor. You are getting stronger all the time, I can hear it in your posts. You know that the abuse is causing this for you, that it is not acceptable. That your partner is not going to change and is deliberately abusing you. Awareness is the first step to changing your situation.
Keep reaching out.
Sending a big hug xx

[Rosemary]

Hello Hawthorn

Thank you so much for your surport I really appreciate it. Thank you for explaining to me
What you went thought it’s not nice that you went thought the same thing as me and I always thought it is abusive and how I’ve been treated in my life i have experienced wakeing up in soaking wet thought my nighty to my sheets i thought it was hot sweats doing this to me ? You said you had this to but because of feeling frightened . I also much be experiencing the same thing as you its only not long happened to me where my nighty is geting soaking wet thought to my sheets I think it’s also got something to do with haveing flair ups in my face Jue to stress which I take tablets for . Thank you for reaching out to me i don’t feel strong in my self but it’s nice by my post that you see i am geting stronger i must believe in my self.

I will talk to women aid Gp and my counsellor how I am suffering like this because every time I see them for some reason I forget to tell them as i talk about other things .

Thank you for hugs bless you sending them back to you x*x

[Hawthorn]

Every night I would have to change my nightie more than once because of the sweats, I thought it was many things but it’s only once I got out I realised it was fear. The night sweats were one of the first things to stop when I left my abuser, I still remember the first morning, after I’d been out for a week or so, that I woke up after sleeping through the night, not a bit sweaty and feeling rested. It was pure magic.

Yes you are getting stronger. The more support you get and more you understand that what’s happening to you is not your fault, or a problem with your mental or physical health, but rather is a normal (if very distressing) response to the abuse your partner is putting you through, the stronger you will continue to get.

You escaped abuse before, you can do it again xx

[Rosemary]

Hello hawthorn

Thank you for giveing me some positive thoughts
I did leave my ex husband and I am happy that I did I lived In fear for a very long time and i never had any help from no where I did it all by my self but it was so horrible I felt lonely that I did not talk and get surport years ago.

Now I live with my partner I’ve just had no luck in relationships I seam to get the abusive and controling men I dont understand that I was not with my husband for long but I’ve been with my partner for many years and I dont now why I am
Finding it hard to leave this time. I now I am scared to think what he will do I now I will get support and he could not go near me .

It is right what your saying its none of my fault that I got anxiety and depression and more I’ll health on top because of all the truma and abuse
I’ve lived with other the years .

It’s nice you have faith in me that my time will come where I live my parnter and my life would be mice again I wish it was so easy just to leave .like you said if I do things step by step that be good for me

Sending you hugs and thank you for your support

[Hawthorn]

Your current partner has had longer to wear you down and sap your strength than your husband had. Of course you are finding it difficult to find the strength to leave when he has been wearing down your physical and mental health for such a long time. Add in the lack of sleep and really, you’re remarkable to be keeping going.

Be very kind to yourself Rosemary. You dont deserve this situation but it’s not your fault and lots of people will help and support you. Keep focusing on yourself rather than him and building your strength. I believe in you, now you need to believe in yourself xx

[Rosemary]

Thank you for your kind words hawthorn which made
Me feel emotional in a nice way because you said I am remarkable no one ever said that to me . It’s so true what your saying that my partner as physically and mentally worn me out on top of that not haveing much.

Thank you for advice my friend I appreciate it .I don’t deserve how I am being treated. Thank you for all of your support it means everything to me xx

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