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I have been speaking to KIP here on messenger and she has been a huge support and encouraged me to reach out more on here. A few weeks ago I received an incident card for telling the police about something my partner did. It has dragged on with no news for weeks and left me so worried and distressed. I didn’t want to chase the police too much as to be honest part of me didn’t want to know what was going to happen as I didn’t set out to tell the police so that they would investigate. I thought that unless I gave a statement nothing would happen. A few weeks down the line and they are investigating and are coming out to speak to me in a few days before they question him. Now he is very very clever and everything was done in private and he also knows so much about my life and could very easily turn things around on me. During those weeks I have still seen him and there have been more bad days than good but the good funnily enough has been in public. I very much worry that he is storing these up in that he could say to the police that we were out at such and such a place and watch the video footage of it at the venue. Maybe I am going to far in my mind with this but I really feel it could go either way. If I thought there was going to be justice then I would just tell them absolutely everything but at the end of the day it is his word against mine. I still care for him and the other ladies on here are so right that no contact is the best way to go but why couldn’t I just do that and why did I have to speak to the police when he grabbed my throat as there were no marks on me and (detail removed by moderator). I realise though that this is the only way that I can stop myself from being in contact with him otherwise the cycle would continue. I haven’t been in my relationship as long as a lot of people on here so I kind of felt guilty got not giving the relationship enough time but I have supported him so much in many ways and he has took that support and just destroyed what we had. I find that he lies openly now either to make me on edge or because he really doesn’t care or it’s another control thing. Either way I have been so so anxious and as much as I miss him it is no way to live your life. Never knowing what he is going to be like from day to day and trying to appease. Things haven’t always been this bad but they have got worse since I outed him to his best friend and told his mum and dad what he did to me (detail removed by moderator) and ever since then it is like he is out for revenge now. I would call him a (removed by moderator) from what I have read about them. Anyway I am very scared and worried about what the outcome of this will be and part of me doesn’t want to tell the police anything else and part of me wants to tell them everything that I know if there was a chance of justice but I know women on here who’s partners almost got away scot free despite all of the abuse and my partner hasn’t done half of that although he does have a previous conviction. Now tonight the police are asking if my work knows about it all and that I will have to speak to them and I am worried that this will look badly on me as (detail removed by moderator) and my work goes on reputation. If they know this is going on I can’t see them wanting to take me on for another project even though this is not my fault. It is so unfair and all I ever wanted to to was love and support him and spend my life with him….
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hi there,
try to hold fast and have faith – i know there are senarios that we hear about alot of the time where they get off with this. your best option tho is to tell them everything. there is nothing worse than fighting with a (removed by moderator) as they twist everything and deny always – they say know your enemy and he will slip up he dosent think as rationally as you and people do see that no matter how these men appear to be. if he has a previous conviction surely they will see that he is a danger. He has assaulted you and terrified you why should he get away with this again. he will probably do this again if hes not held accountable. i do think were conditioned into thinking we wont be taken seriously i felt like that for a very long time – i never told anyone professional about the abuse for a good 8 years! i was scared of the repercussions – the thing is once i unmasked him it was game over = i did get closure and i was able to move on with my life xx youll be the same and hopefully your employer will understand xx much love diymum
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It is just so sad because there is no need for it. We could have had a beautiful relationship and we did at the start. He destroyed that for us. I remember telling him back in (detail removed by moderator) that he had broken us. I just kept saying that as I couldn’t believe what he’d done. My friend said it’s like the feed off of our pain and get their energy from it. It gives them a kick. He would do things to me and then go off and get on with his day like nothing had ever happened and I would be left a wreck for the rest of the day trying to recover but he would switch out of Mr angry mode very quickly and just go about his business.
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