Having a bit of a dip when I should just feel happy

[Cantmakedecisons]

I’ve been out for a while but it’s only been (removed by moderator) days since the last incident. This is the longest time for a while and I should feel happy but I don’t.

I didn’t go to work today, I was just too tired to deal with patients when all I need to do is sleep.

My mind is constantly thinking about will there be a next time? who actually am I? Because I actually don’t have any idea. Where’s my life headed? Will I ever be happy? I’m not even sure I’m capable of being happy I just feel so sad.

I want to be stronger, I want to smile and plan for a happy future but the trail of trauma that I need to deal with is disabling.

[Anonymous]

cantmakedecisions people think when you come out of a relationship you just grieve for a while and get on with things but this is for normal relationships, this was nowhere near a normal relationship so the processes are gonna be different , the trauma after this can leave you with depression , self esteem self hatred, anxiety, agoraphobia, paranoia, eating disorders , nightmares, insomnia , severe people trust and probably more? ? ? ? What you’ve been though is a prolonged relationship war zone in different forms, I’m not gonna tell you recovery is easy cos I’d be lying , maybe speak to your dr or nurse see if they can advise anything , also remember there are people who care , people who “get it” it is a long road but your not on your own on it, ok? also try and remember who you are and what you love , theres help out there if you need it there’ll be days where you feel so bad you want it to stop days you may think really was it so bad ( yes it was), was it me? (absolutely not) Was I so bad?( no quite opposite) Then there’ll be days you might not feel anything or even just really scared , it’s important to acknowledge everything your feeling and maybe call women’s aid or live fear free on days where you feel you going to crumble, please take care you could have gone right under( they can drive you to it) but you haven’t , that says something for sure 🧡💛🧡💛🧡

[Cantmakedecisons]

💕💕💕💕 thanks I needed to hear that xx

[Anonymous]

That’s ok 💗💗💗

[True2myself]

You just summed up the reason I logged in. I was gonna post but I’ll add to this…

I feel the exact same. Yesterday I was great and today I’m not. I feel like I did when he was here doing things. I guess it’s the trauma ptsd but it’s difficult to cope with sometimes.

[Eggshells]

PM’d you hon.

[Author]

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