Having a wobble

[Sunshineee]

It’s not been that long since my ex was sentenced and I have been on a rollercoaster since then. I fell very low & suicidal after court, then I went sky high, and now feel like I’m slowly slipping again. Iv tried to be open about this to people but often feel a burden and think these people must be fed up of hearing me moan x

[Headspinning]

I can understand. We have split recently and I have been through the full upset and hollow shock, followed by euphoria with lots of enthusiasm and singing as I went about – people thought I was manic! I thought it was the old me coming back out and was thinking had great it was to be over it all so quickly.
But in the last (detail removed by moderator) that has passed and I have crashed back down again. Yesterday I felt as bad as if it had been the first day of the split.
I know it doesn’t help that there has been contact and a couple of attempts at reconciliation.
I know no contact would be a better option but I find that very hard as it’s not in my nature plus my ex doesn’t actually have a conviction. It was all emotional manipulation and arguments which is hard to be definitive about and there is always a doubt with me when he is being rational that I have gotten it all wrong.
Plus in spite of knowing the relationship was no longer good for me I still care. I still feel like it could have went another way and those wee niggles make it hard to move on.
We have to hope and trust it will get better – use our headspace to focus on ourselves, what are our goals in life. Give ourselves a wee treat. Not expect everything to be ok immediately and allow ourselves to grieve what could have been. Xx

[Onlyintime]

Sending you love and strength ladies.

[KIP.]

This is absolutely normal. This recovery is a rollercoaster. In the beginning the highs and lows are extreme but slowly there will be more time between these extremes and the ups and downs become less and less. Are you having counselling. I would really recommend it. I had PTSD and part of that was needed to tell people. I found myself blurting it out to strangers so we need to talk about it when ready. In fact it was like the cycle of abuse. I was euphoric like in the honeymoon period, then I started to become anxious, they I would crash and burn. It felt bi polar but it’s your brain trying to work through the trauma now it feels safe it has more headspace to do this. Your head space has been taken up with keeping safe. Now it’s time to process the trauma.

[KIP.]

I hope your ex went to jail. Mind didn’t so I had the added trauma of seeing him at the bottom of my street. Ring the police if he contact you x you will get through this. Be kind to yourself. Eat and drink and rest when you can. Try to do things that bring pleasure. Easier said than done but keep trying x

[Headspinning]

Thanks KIP
Sounds like exactly what I am going though.
I am also always on alert mode that he is going to make contact or appear.

I have good friends happy to listen so I feel all I ever do is talk about it! I need to find some distractions. Went to the cinema recently and made the mistake of going to see The invisible man – all about flipping DV!

Oh well – at least none of our guys have learned the art of being invisible (yet!)

[Sunshineee]

Yes KIP he’s in prison x

[KIP.]

Keep reading other posts and ring the Samaritans if you need to. I did it for a while and also the national domestic abuse helpline just felt better hearing a friendly voice x there’s also some good books out there. Healing from Hidden Abuse. Living with the Dominator x enjoy the peace while he’s in prison and take advantage of this time to get stronger x

[Author]

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