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    • #56178
      Anonymous
      Participant

      I feel so upset as he bit my ear so hard it’s still hurting me today. I am stressing over my relationship with him. I don’t know if I can trust him. I feel like nothing. How can I stop feeling this way?

    • #56184
      IrisAtwood
      Participant

      Did you tell him that he hurt you? Has he done things like that before? Does he hurt you in other ways? If he has or if you told him and he didn’t care then you need to get some help.
      We often feel that it is our job to change how we feel rather than realising that what needs to change is actually our relationship and our partner’s behaviour. You are stressing because something is not right – only you know what that is – but with help your situation can get better.

    • #56187
      KIP.
      Participant

      You cannot trust him. He has assaulted you. No matter how he tries to paint over it. My ex used to do things to me when I’d told him that was painful. It’s like a red rag to a bull. Your partner is supposed to be gentle considerate of your feelings. It’s some sort of weird power kick they get. Pushing our boundaries. I can tell you my abuse got worse over the years as he kept pushing boundaries looking for a reaction, seeing how far he could go. Nasty selfish twisted people.

    • #56192
      SunshineRainflower
      Participant

      Hi anon,

      this sounds very worrying, like KIP said it is technically assault, it is abuse and boundary pushing behaviour. My ex did similar things like putting his hands around my neck in bed then denying it then got really angry with me for even suggesting he had – gaslighting.

      I think a lot of these men are quite sadistic and get off on the idea of hurting women, mentally and physically. Because we’d run away if they did it early on they start off charming and ‘loving’ but slowly push the boundaries until they are hurting us physically on a regular basis by which time we are in the fog of abuse and don’t understand what is happening to us.

      Definitely ring the helpline and if you can’t get through leave a message for a call back, it sounds like your gut is speaking up so do listen to it, I wish I had followed by gut early on.

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