He crossed the line. Again.

[wildandfree]

I am so full of anger this week. I have been free for a while and divorced, but he still has so much control over me.

(Detail removed by Moderator) he phoned and asked me to go round (detail removed by Moderator). He told me to let myself in. I turned up at the exact time I said I would and he was naked. W*F! I was so angry. He has been going on and on and on about getting back together, even though he has been with his partner for years. (Detail removed by Moderator) Arrrgh!

Why the f*** does he think he can still do this? It was the absolute last straw for me (I have said this to myself a hundred times). I said I would tell his girlfriend, so now he is all snivelling and pathetic and saying that he made a mistake and how could I try and ruin his relationship when hes trying to move on.

I feel so angry and confused and my head is just messed up. If I tell her, then I am the bad guy and the crazy ex wife. But if I don’t , then he just gets away with it again and again. There are no consequences to his actions.

How do I get over this insane anger I am feeling right now?!I know the best thing is to move on, but in my head I am so frustrated that someone can treat me so badly, and there be no consequences to his actions.

[Twisted Sister]

Hi wildandfree

I wonder if your threat to tell his g/f is sufficient to finally put the lid on his behaviour, and would she believe you anyway (you being his ex and knowing how he will present your behaviour to her – maybe he’d say you turned up unannounced and caught him naked?).

If you did it, I’d definitely recommend evidencing it with the message to come round at x time. Forward it to her and add that when you did he was naked.

It depends what you want from this. In all fairness, I think I would want to have been warned about his behaviour, but I am really dubious that I would be convinced by an ex telling me this, and their motivation for doing that, and this is the reason I haven’t said any of my experiences to the gf of the x.

It is your choice ultimately, and if you don’t fulfil your threat to disclose this inappropriate meet up, he may think your threats are all hollow, and it won’t make him stop. You will know this better than we can by your sense of who they are and how you interact or they respond to you.

It is low, really low, and despit all that, I would want to know, but yes, evidence would be key to convince me that this was the truth. (Detail removed by Moderator).

ts

[KIP.]

Time to work on zero contact. You cannot be friends with an abuser. Block him on everything and use an old mobile phone for any emergency contact only if you need contact. As long as you allow contact, his abuse will continue. That’s a criminal offence he’s committed so I’d report him to the police, they they should investigate and inform his current partner.

[Author]

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