He finally found a way to hurt me for leaving him

[Surviving]

I met an amazing man. Been seeing him for (detail removed by moderator) months. Turns out his friend which is also his ex lives next door to my ex and his partner. They found out we are seeing each other and my blokes ex calls him warning him from me as obviously my ex has told her I’m the bad person. I decided to end it with him because I can’t have my ex destroying it. I just want him to leave me alone and get on with his life and partner and let me find happiness. (Detail removed by moderator).  I feel totally crushed because this guy was amazing

[Twisted Sister]

It honestly just never seems to end does it?

When there are children there’s no end to it. So so sorry to hear this. I would give this guy a chance though…you say he’s amazing, well give him the chance to show you that.

Have that conversation; if the relationship isn’t up to that then its not worth continuing with anyway.

At least give him that chance to have a heart to heart with you. If you feel unable to, then that’s your choice, but I wouldnt drop him without even talking about it?

I really hope you can work this out if this guy is the man you say he is.
Warmest wishes ts

[White Rose]

Lies lies and more lies. They never stop fabricating their story as the injured party.
I agree with ts. Talk about it. He may need time to take it in. He may not stay but at least you’ll give your side.
If your man feels a good one, if you feel safe, if there’s no red flags, if your child is happy then fight for him x*x

[Surviving]

I’m taking it slow. Looking for the red flags and their is none. He is just amazing. Despite non molestation order for him to leave me alone he will always find a way of hurting me and it’s not fair. I can’t live my life like this

[Surviving]

If it’s that easy for this guy to doubt me after everything I told him. He asked to see my evidence so I said yes but I shouldn’t have to proove myself. It hurts so much

[Twisted Sister]

Oh love. Maybe he’s always been very convinced by his ex’s account (given her by your ex, because they are so manipulative), and if he didn’t experience abusive relationship before he’s probably a bit stuck torn between someone he hasn’t know very long and someone he has?

I think you have nothing to hide, and only you can know how much you are prepared to give in prvoving your side (as these are undoubtedly very serious things to have to consider).

It’s bound to make you wobble, and the relationship to wobble too, its a challenge and there will always be relationship challenges, but its your call how far you are comfortable to go. You could explain this too and the rest is up to him taking that leap of faith in your new relationship with some agreement s in place ait all the stuff that he will continue to say in the future. Has he considered the jealousy of the ex’s that dnt want their ex to moveon even if they have?

Warmest wishes ts

[Surviving]

All I know is I feel my heart is bring ripped out. I got the non molestation order for him to leave me alone but now he finds another way to hurt me. I’m going to see my maybe partner later and have a talk and show him my evidence. I still feel I shouldn’t have to proove myself but I know I don’t wanna loose him already. Yea I’ve only known him (detail removed by moderator) months but I’ve loved every minute of it. I felt so happy. The fact the kids are scared to even look the ex should be enough

[KIP.]

Sorry but in my opinion asking you to show him evidence is a huge red flag. He’s basically calling you a liar and shows he doesn’t trust your word. That in itself would make me end things. There has to be trust and it’s just not there. There are lots of amazing men out there but this one is too close to home. His ‘ex’ who is also his ‘friend’ should not be passing destructive gossip and it works both ways. Whatever you tell him, he will tell his ‘friend’ who will tell your ex. Even if he doesn’t, the worry for me will always be there. Far too close to your ex. I think it was your gut feeling that made you end things quickly. Trust your gut x

[Surviving]

I went to see him and had a huge talk. I can kind of understand where he is coming from. Hensaid my ex’s partner questioned My little one about who I was going out with. As soon as they found out they called him warning him I’m a phsycopath lol. He didn’t just push me away. I did tell him before if they ever found out about us and they start anything then I have all the evidence. They said they had court orders on me and loads of other s**t. I also told him my ex is is planning on going to his daughters mum’s to tell her I’m not good for their daughter. He was so angry with my ex. I was going to show him other stuff and he nearly cryed and apologised a d said he should have never asked me to proove myself.

[Twisted Sister]

I am pleased to hear that you have both risen to the challenge, it is early days in your relationship an that is a serious issue to manage, and altho I agree with KIP about a partner trusting, I think these are a massive deal and bound to rock everything.

One just can’t know someone so well until they’ve been together longer, especially in the absence of any other red flags.

Now you are both stronger together hopefully and he would have no need to not trust or doubt you again.

It’s been lovely to hear a good outcome, some things can go right. I do hope you two can have something special together

Warmest wishes ts

[Surviving]

Thank you so much x*x

[Author]

Posts