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    • #16741

      My ex has something that I need for my holiday (removed by moderator). I am not certain that he has it but I have looked everywhere for it & cannot find it. It is quite an important thing which will enable me to do the activity on holiday that I originally booked the holiday for. There might be some ways around it, I have contacted the companies & asked whether it is essential that I have this thing & I am waiting for a response. I might also be able to order a new one though am doubtful it would arrive on time if i did that. I am still very much trauma bonded and miss him. I thought I could keep it strictly to one sentence asking if he has it. I would be grateful if you can let me know what you think. Thank you.

    • #16758


      I would say avoid asking him at all cost, he will just spoil your mood and upset u more b4 u go away, what is it exactly that his speaking to him i think it willmess your head more

    • #16768

      Absolutely no. You’re still vulnerable and he still has the ability to make you feel worthless. What if he takes this opportunity to trample your feelings and open old wounds. Could set you back months. No contact is wonderful for that reason. Stay strong. It gets easier x

    • #16769

      Thank you for your responses, your feedback really helps me. X*X

    • #16771

      I agree with the others Healtharchive but if you really need this thing maybe a friend could ask for you? You would need to be very clear with this friend about your no contact rule and that they need to help you maintain that. So no being a messenger for him after they ask etc….

    • #16773

      I would say no. Nothing is worth the freedom gained through no contact.

      He might even use your friend as a way in to affect you,nif you asked them to get the item for you. Better to allow him nowhere near you and receive no information about you, nor contact with any of your friends or acquaintances. Any contact- however indirect- is dangerous.

    • #16822

      Thank you for your responses, i resolved this problem, NC in tact!

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