He holds the power….

[Healthyarchive]

to my happiness, peace of mind and ability to move on. Why can’t he just be normal and say hello, how are you, hope your well, kind regards……. or words like that. Or why can’t I say that to him, this is what I would really like to do. If this were to happen I would then be released from this painful nothingness or our relationship ending and having 100% zero contact on both sides. this does not feel normal or right to me. I don’t want him or the relationship. But I would so much like to acknowledge each other, just to say hello, this will released me from the prison that I feel I have been in. I tried to be nice, friendly and respectful to him when we ended, he ignored each attempt.

[Serenity]

Hi HA,

I can empathise with how you are feeling.

However, if he was unkind and abusive within the relationship, he will continue to be so with any contact you might have.

Have you come across Melanie Tonia Evans’ website? It rescued me many times.

This specific link might help you:

http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/there-is-no-closure-with-n*********s/

Xx

[Anonymous]

Hi Healthy Archive, I honestly believe that further down the line you will be glad of this no contact because it takes away his ability to hurt you over and over. If you can hold out, somewhere down the line you will notice that it will get easier and easier for you not to speak to him. HOld on in there, he does not have the power you do xx

[Healthyarchive]

Thank you Serenity i will look at the link. Thank you Lost too for your feedback. The no contact and ending of the relationshop is fine with me, he was the only person i’ve ever got close to and trusted, I feel that he has turned my life inside out and its the worse thing that has ever happened to me. If we could just be normal, say Hi, I wish you well and both be ok with that, I would be able to move on. Perhaps If i keep reminding myself that he has narcissitic traits and is not capable of such decent normality that might help.

[Starmoon]

Could you ever let go of him enough mentally to be able to just say hi and be amicable?
These men are like drugs to us. I’m definitely addicted to my ex. I am able to go cold turkey but I couldn’t even get a glimpse of him without being fully addicted again. I can’t delete his number and have the will power not to contact him, but the instant he contacts me and I am in up to my neck and back to having to start all over again. You say he’s the first person you ever got close to… If your situation is anything at all like mine then I don’t think it’s possible for you to talk. You ended it for a reason, because he was an abuser. He will probably always be one.
I think with any relationship that ends, if you had strong feelings for that person, even if it ends well- it’s still a very long time before you’re able to be friends as such with no feelings drawing you nack in. I had a long term boyfriend years and years ago and even though it ended well, it’s only in the last few years that we’ve become friends again with utterly no agenda from either side

[Starmoon]

I’m not really sure that’s the case in regards to my ex and myself. But it doesn’t matter

[Author]

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