He is denying ever abusing me

[KIP.]

My ex was very clever looking back. He used to wait for an empty house. Never mark my body. He was so careful not to leave evidence. He used to threaten violence, like a coiled spring but never actually had to use violence as I was so terrified. (Until I tried to leave then he didn’t care).
I’m scared I won’t be believed. It doesn’t seem enough to say he used the threat of physical violence to keep me from leaving. It’s awful when the just won’t stop lying.

[Healthyarchive]

Dear KIP, don’t forget how calculating & devious they can be, I think I only touched the surface with how calculated my ex was. what happened with our ex,s was premeditated planned bullying, disguised, controlling & terrifying. There is a lot in the news now about coercive control, the new law, the Archers storyline. Can you do some research on coercive control & legal Cases? I think that your case will carry more weight than you think. Are you confident about your solicitor?

[KIP.]

Yes I’m confident with her. It’s just all so unbelievable. I would hate to rely on a jury. Domestic abuse is so complicated and I need to know I will be believed. I guess I’m just panicking again. I have lots of other evidence and surely a criminal conviction shows what he’s like.

[Healthyarchive]

Coercive control is really high profile at the moment, this should go in your favour. the fact you reported him to the police gives you weight, was he charged with assault or any other abuse?

[SaharaD]

Not surprised, Apparently I’m the abuser on the divorce papers too.

[White Rose]

Hi KIP if you can say on here why are you needing to prove DA? If its for divorce petition you don’t need to be so specific and your solicitor will help you write the section. She’ll be used to knowing how to phrase it so that it will just go through. I was advised to play it down as that way he had nothing much to come back on.
If it’s for court for something else then go for whatever your solicitor advises and don’t hold back on the truth.
These men are so infuriating and even with the new laws it keeps falling on the abused to fight for every little thing x*x

[Serenity]

I agree with HA that coercive control is being given a higher profile, and it also needs exposing more.

I think the judges in my case had sympathy towards me and could tell that my ex was mentally abusive. Yes, he had hurt me physically in ways, but I think there is more understanding now about the use of other methods of abuse.

My ex fancies himself as an expert msnipulator. Beating me up would have been too obvious ( though he did resort to some things which could be deemed physical abuse): he thought mental abuse was far more productive. Horribly, I believe he. Pull quite easily have killed me if he could get away with no witnesses or evidence.

I think courts must hear so many similar stories. As we know, abusers are so similar. They must recognise a pattern.

Don’t lose confidence. Speak your truth clearly and confidently.

[KIP.]

Thanks. He was actually charged with another offence too which is great to use. Although he was found not guilty (idiot prosecutor made mistake). The fact that he was charged is good evidence. I can’t say much but im going to take the shirt off his back.

[Author]

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