He left months ago but spoiling the kids & life for me so hard

[anotherlife]

I knew in a way this would happen but it’s much worse. He moved out earlier this year and when he has the kids, he’s completely different to how he used to be, let’s them eat anything, calls them up being all lovely, takes them out to eat and spoils them, but now they are rude to me and won’t do anything I say, I feel like it’s barely any better than before. I’m do anxious and scared of him but this just makes me feel like I’m losing them and there’s nothing I can do and it’s so upsetting. If I try to put any rules in, one won’t do a thing I say anyway and would have a temper like her dad & the other gets really moody and sulky and in his teenage years I worry already. I was so desperate to get away from him but we stayed in the house so the kids had their home and it feels just as much of a trap. I know I’m lucky to have the house for now but I hate it here, all the memories, everything. They’re like a pair of spoilt children, I hate to see it when a few years ago I could talk to them about things and they would listen or talk to me but nothing now. Do I ask school to help, they know what’s been happening but then it’ll be obvious, plus my youngest has a habit of accidentally saying stuff to her dad…
I just don’t know what to do. I’m so glad to not be with him and I haven’t missed him for even one second, but my life isn’t improving and I’m seriously worried what they are going to turn out like.

[Lisa]

Hi Anotherlife

It sounds really difficult to manage the situation with your children at the moment, they are imitating their fathers lack of respect towards you making it hard for you to put boundaries in place.

I am sure other mums on this forum will have experienced similar and it sounds like you need some support with the situation at the moment.

You could try contacting your local domestic abuse service to ask if they have any services for children and young people, alternatively as you mentioned you could approach the school for support.

Take care and keep posting

Lisa

[Author]

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