12th January 2019 at 10:29 pm #70588ArielParticipant
I have been dating a lovely man and my ex is getting suspicious that I’m seeing someone. He us always like that anyway but this time I am seeing someone.
He keeps writing messages saying you will never have someone else while I’m still alive and hes told my children he will kill any man I get with.
I was speaking with a man a few years ago when we split for a short while and he paid people to beat him up badly. So worried he will do this again or worse. I can’t see how I’m ever going to be happy like normal people.my ex is still controlling me and the man I’m seeing is so patient. I don’t see him for weeks or months and he is still there for me. I know he won’t put up with me still living my life by my ex forever though. I need advice x
13th January 2019 at 7:20 am #70599LandyParticipant
I’d report this to the police if he has a record of doing it before.
13th January 2019 at 9:32 am #70602KIP.Participant
Absolutely report this to the police. Threats to kill should be taken extremely seriously. The new man in your life deserves to be safe. Your ex controlling behaviour won’t stop until there are consequences for him. My ex made threats too, told me he had worn a balaclava and beat an exes boyfriend. Don’t know if it was true or not but just the fact that he would say that is extremely worrying. I always think of OJ Simpson when his wife and her new boyfriend were murdered in such a horrific way. The poor boyfriend who was a lot younger was totally innocent and unprepared. It actually put me off dating for quite some time. I think you owe it to him to warn him especially if it’s happened before and you know about it.
13th January 2019 at 10:12 am #70607IwantmebackParticipant
There’s part o of you who diesnt want to believe that the man you feel fir is capable of this behaviour, just hold onto the facts of how he’s treated you and listen to your gut. I believe in my heart thst my oh could do this to, whether or not he’d cross thst line, that’s his choice, but they have to be stopped, the consequences far outweigh him only saying he’d do it. Protect yourself and your new partner, cos your ex sure as hell would protect himself. My OH tells me to look after no1. I’ve seen first hand how he would protect me, I don’t want to see that ever again.
These men are bullies at the end of the day, were not strong enough to deal with them, but the police are, as are juries and judges,, if it comes down to it.
Best wishes IWMB 💕💕
13th January 2019 at 2:16 pm #70617FrankfurterParticipant
Threatening to kill someone is a crime on its own, he doesn’t need to have done anything for the police to be interested. Given the history, it’s well worth getting them involved. This sort of behaviour is unacceptable, and you have the right to see whomever you darn well please.
13th January 2019 at 3:19 pm #70621[email protected]Participant
I would never underestimate these men. It’s so important to look at these threats to be real. I think we often pass these threats off like it will never happen but it has happened when you look at the papers. Not just in America but there was a recent case in 2016 in licholnshire, the ex shot his wife and child dead when she tried to leave. This is real, I’m not trying to scare you but this does actually happen. I’d report this to the police for sure x*x diy
14th January 2019 at 7:18 pm #70695ArielParticipant
Thank you all. I have told my new partner, he is a friend of my family so he knows a lot about my situation. But he is also a man that thinks this kind of craziness is just in the movies and is all threats. But I and you all know different. You are right I keep wanting to believe that my ex is normal and level headed but it’s just not the case.
Sometimes it makes you want to scream doesn’t it that you can’t just live a normal life. My ex is so disalusional.
I keep thinking about having an injunction but then I won’t know what he’s doing and he will pay people to follow me (he never does these things himself). He thinks he has a right to know everything about me. It’s exhausting as you all know.
Thank you all so much x
14th January 2019 at 10:22 pm #70717IwantmebackParticipant
That’s the problem, normal people don’t get how these people work,think,function. Because it does sound like something from a movie or a book. He has to know just how serious this is, we’ve read too many times of ex partners and new ones being killed by the abusive partner, who is found guilty but on manslaughter only. Once these instances are seen fir the crime of murderer which they are, maybe it will go a long way to making these men think twice about committing these crimes. I hope your all safe and your fears ARE listened to.
15th January 2019 at 10:14 am #70733[email protected]Participant
I think its a very harsh reality to look at or to stare it in the face. It was only when i spoke up and started to say I am scared, I dont feel safe that the professionals actually sat up and listened. I do honestly believe alot of the threats from my ex were hot air to put me in a spin. i also firmly believe if you put me in a room with him (in an unlawful hypothetical senario) that he would kill me. He actually said to his lawyer he would put my children right about me. what ever that was? as i hold down a responsible job of trust. It was my dad who is quite elderly and very astute he say me down and said you do realise your dealing with a psychopath? thats when i decided im not taking any chances xx
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