He wants our child

[Jellybaby]

He has ended the relationship as I refused to sign a loan for his large debt. He is saying that he wants our daughter 50/50 and therefore will not pay child maintenance. He doesn’t do a thing for her has never cooked a meal for her, I take her to school, am there for her when she gets home. She is with me all the time. He leaves for work at (detail removed by moderator) and is home if we are lucky (detail removed by moderator) and (detail removed by moderator) all weekend. He spends 0 time with her even if he is in the home. She will end up being left my herself all the time. The money is secondary but I dunno if I will cooe on my wages alone without some child support. Has anyone else been in this situation I am so scared I love my daughter so much I know being with him ain’t the best for her.

[Bananaboat]

It’s an abusers standard go-to threat when we talk/act on leaving them. Mine is the same but in reality he can’t cope with our child when he does have him and cancels most prearranged times last minute. I know that doesn’t help much, but if he has her that little now I’m hoping for your sake he’s just making noise. Speak with woman’s aid chat or phone lines they might have some good advice 🙂

[KIP.]

Abusers are liars. He’s now using manipulation to gain control again. Get some legal advice so you know exactly where you stand. I ended up with the marital home when he said I’d get nothing.

[KIP.]

Start gathering evidence you will need, bank statements, mortgage statements, receipts and anything else you might need. Get your passport and birth certificate and marriage certificate safe. He’s going to get worse when you don’t back down.

[SingleMomSurvivor]

My ex did the same thing. At first he claimed he wanted the kids 50/50. When I reported his abuse & got the police & courts involved then that’s when he started saying I was an unfit mom, a danger to the kids & that he wanted full custody. Of course he never actually played a major role in our kids’ lives and I was the one who did all the coordinating and parenting when we were together. Even now whenever he gets angry about something the whole “Ill take custody of the kids from you” is his go to threat. I’m certain he doesn’t actually want custody, it’s just another abusive tactic.

[Hazlenut]

You will cope without his contribution. Leaving made me and my children homeless. (detail removed by moderator) on and the children have not had a penny from him. They have not gone without and we now have a new home and basic necessities. Still rebuilding. There are amazing support networks out there that will help.

[Author]

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