- This topic has 24 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 9 months ago by
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So the husband travelled a long way to a family member to leave a thinly veiled threat that his solicitor said i am playing a dangerous game…im confused, how is leaving someone who made me and my kids miserable dangerous??? Should i have just stayed so as not to upset his happiness and live under his control??? Is it bad that i freed us?? I think its ridiculous hes now contacting my family as i havnt contacted his at all. So still the control continues. I feel sick.
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Am i right to stay silent regarding him txting me? I want zero contact with him. I reckon thats why he visited my family cause i wont repky to txts and he knows if he sent me that via text id use it against him. He even tried to tell the cops the night i left him that he is the one who is scared, i couldnt believe it!! He is twisting everything and acting like the wronged man when i was the one driven to leave my home in the night with my kids. Now hes contacting my family to continue to try and scare me.
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If he texts you and you dont reply, its abuse, if you answer its look on as a conversation, argument. Keep them but don’t answer it. Are the police involved? I would suggest that you make them aware of what he’s doing. If your friends and family feel intimated get them to speak with the police as well.
Speak with Womans Aid they can give great advice.
I’m the b***h from hell in his eye’s, but he won’t let me go till the house sales. I sleep with a door braise.
FS
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No if you don’t answer it counts as abuse and the police can do some thing about it.
Sad to say you need to be one step ahead of the game. As time goes on I find out more. At the moment he is making mistakes which helps you make a case.
You can only get a non molestation order within 10 days of him assaulting you.
I talk to as many organisation as possible learn your rights it gives you power. Sadly for me by the time I got that far he stayed within the law, but if I did it sooner I wouldn’t be stuck in the position I’m in.
Re the letter from your solicitor ring them Monday and find out where it is in the system.
I keep a diary of what he does more to stop me self doubting but if needs be it also shows continued abuse.
FS xx
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Who’s to say his solicitor has said anything at all? If they had any constructive information to share with you, it would have been in writing.
It’s another form of intimidation.
In addition, you have set boundaries and he has totally ignored and disrespected them by turning up at your families house.
It’s not you x -
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Walker, thats what my relative said, he could be bluffing to scare me, however there could be a letter in the post, but ive spoken to my solicitor and i havnt felt the need to inform his family about what was said, probably cause i have no interest or desire to get his attention or play silly mind games. It was my relatives (detail removed by Moderator) he came to, he mustve been to the house first and saw nobody was in, he was also asking where i am, he wasnt told.
FS, Hes probably realised now that its real as its been (detail removed by Moderator) days and ive not been in touch and also i blocked his access to my bank account, he wont like that as he treated my money like it was his. Id say my doing that has peed him right off. Xx -
HI HUn
These men play so many mind games, u doing well for keeping zero contact and u did nothing wrong in wanting peace for yourself and the kids. Continue with the zero contact, ignore him totally, block him if u can on phone and all social media. LOg all his behaviour to police, make it clear to the police u want zero contact and he is still harrassing u via text and indirect messages to family members, polcie will keep loggin, then after a while they issue warning to him to make no contact , if he pursues a harrassment ordr will be issued. They give out so much rubbish, i bet its a bluff dont fall for it, his trying to show his authority, and trying to regain control. U r doing brill
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Will the police not think im wasting their time? The txts arent threatening, hes too smart for that, thats why he verbally told my relative about my so called dangerous game rather than txt me. He knows this will set my anxiety off hugely as he knows i worry about everything. Again, hes getting to me even tho ive left him. I wonder if ill ever be free
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No they won’t ring 101 the non emergency number explain what’s been going on. They will either get someone out to you or get the safeguard team to contact you.
I can only say that I have been treated with kindness and was never made to feel like I was wasting their time. Though because of what he been doing their hands are tied they have help me get strategies in place.
My thing is to log everything so if he does do something ott there is a pathway proving its not a one off.
Also if you haven’t done so already speak to your local woman aid group they with five you support.
Don’t keep quiet anymore our silence gives them strength.
FS xx
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Dear Scaredandlonely, you certainly havn’t made a mistake in leaving him, you did the absolutely the right thing. Unfortunatly you are now having to deal with the fallout, but all will be ok, this just needs working through. I believe 100% no contact with him and all people associated with him. If messages are getting through to you about things that he has said, can you ask the people telling you these things not to tell you? Try not to get too upset about this, he is using every trick in the book to try to get inside your head. You are doing so well now. I think that it would help you to read No Contact by HG Tudor, it might give you some tips on how to deal with this latest episode. Stay strong have a good day today if you can. X*X
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I never thought of 101 if he msgs or anything again ill call them. Im seeing my WA lady tomorrow so ill let her know. He even has got ppl to try to add me on fb, i blocked them and i dont speak to any of his family and wont be either. Im gona have to ask my family not to pass on any msgs as it has upset me, they didnt intend to, they thought they ought to tell me, but it is his way of safely making threats to me but without me having proof. Hes so sly it creeps me out. Hes gona try and make my life hell forever i reckon as he is so angry that i actually walked. He never thought i would.
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Hi,just catching up on your thread. He is going to do whatever he can to provoke a reaction. Ignore it but keep any texts etc for evidence of harassment further down the line if you need it. You have done so well in such a short space of time he is probably just realising how serious you are x
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Good on you for remaining so strong but like HA says just stay aware. He may ramp things up x
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Dear Scared
I am going through similar but I’ve been no contact.
He tries to use family to scare me and says what his family and friends allegedly think of me.
Recently we’ve had email only contact but he is playing mind games in writing now which is good for evidence but hurting me so I’m going to ignore now.
He’s so desperate to talk to me to get in my head again he is making up ways to try and make me have contact. I’m actually laughing at how desperate he is to control me again. -
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Omg that sounds like the husband! Yesterday he was making veiled threats then today he sends a txt saying he loves me! Seriously trying to mess with my head. I was dying to txt back asking if he loved me then why say what he said yesterday, but i decided not to as he wont tell the truth (he physically cant tell the truth about anything) and also i dont want to engage in that again as that was always his way of getting me back onside. Hed be nasty then all loving the next day, its become a cycle and now that i finally broke free theres no way im falling for that cr*p again.
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