Head F%#$

[Alicenotichains]

Hello ladies,

Saturdays. I am feeling a hit spaced out. He found me on a social media site, sent me just over a dozen messages and then changed his profile pic to a picture which includes one of my kids. The messages were the can’t live without you soul mate type of thing- I know you know what I mean. Head working stuff. I know to block, record, phone police etc but what I am struggling with are the feelings of longing that his messages produced. He has activated some kind of weird spell in my mind. I think because I am on my own today I must be feeling a bit lonely as it feels a lot worse xx

[KIP.]

Don’t stop to think. Ring 101 immediately and report this. I know how much harm these me can cause by their lies and manipulation. Who knows what he will tell social services. He knows exactly what he is doing by sending these messages. Master manipulators and you’re falling right into his trap. He’s creeping back into your head space. Messing with you and setting you back. Never ever underestimate them. They have no ‘off switch’. It’s upto you to take control and send a clear message via the police. And keep sending the same message via the police.

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi Alice,

I had the same experience with my ex, if I blocked him on one account he’d open up a new one to contact me. He tried social media, texts, calls, cards sent by post and an email.

Have you reported him to the police for harassment? That was the only way I got my ex to stop.

I totally know how you feel as I too felt I was getting dragged back towards him with each message he sent. Each message made me feel worse, weakened and like I couldn’t escape him. They know exactly what to say and do to push those buttons to get us to feel like we miss them, feel guilty, question ourselves etc. They are master manipulators. I felt like my ex could hypnotise me if I heard his voice so I refused to answer the phone after I realised who he really was.

Have you looked up ‘hoovering’ in google? There are some great articles all about it. We think that just because they say they love us, miss us that they mean it. Sadly, they don’t. There are cases where women have been murdered after being taken in by hooverning. They are angry we left and want their control back. A lot of them see us as objects they own with no free will.

Keep posting and we will support you through it and keep blocking, recording and report him to the police for harassment. It was the only way I got any peace.

[Alicenotichains]

Thank you. Yes I called the police straight away and also a stalking helpline. And his probation officer. I have it all documented and took screen shots. If there is any more contact the police will take action but I think that might be it now. It’s gone quiet.
The profile picture is weird as it is not his child, it is mine. I have told the police that also. I am being vigilant and just post on here when the “No-one will ever replace you” manipulation starts to confuse me. I know it’s a load of sh*t. If he loved me that much he wouldn’t have treated me like dirt.
If he turns up I will dial 999.
I think I get a bit lonely at weekends but I have not given in yet- it’s been a few months now and I have stuck to the No Contact. I think he will eventually get the message if I keep this up.
My mum died of cancer a couple of years ago so I think I miss having people to talk to but I am quite happy in my own company. I am not being shouted at or ignored or bullied and that makes life 100 times better.
I know that by walking away and sticking to my decision I won. I just feel like it would be nice if someone gave me a big cuddle. But I also know that will happen in the future- so basically everything is ok- I just find weekends hard X

[KIP.]

Hey. Well done. Sending you a huge hug <—->. And some flowers 🌷🌷🌷🌷. Weekends were always terrible for me in the beginning. I think we have more time on our hands and our minds start playing over old thoughts. Just want to let you know that it does get much easier. I look forward to weekends now. Peace and quiet. Time for pampering and long baths. Try booking something for next weekend. Doesn’t have to be expensive. Maybe a file and polish? Even arrange to meet a friend or neighbour for a cuppa. Just something to get you out and take your mind off things at the weekend. It really does get easier. Hang in there x FYI I think the police should definitely take action now. If you have the strength, ring back and speak to a supervisor, a sergeant or above in the domestic violence unit. Don’t be put off, and make sure you tell them of the real fear and distress he is putting you under x I had to push and keep pushing for them to understand and take action x

[Alicenotichains]

Ah thank you KIP. You are such a great source of support. And SRF thank you for your message. You ladies are always here for me- it means so much. It really helps xx

[SunshineRainflower]

Love your suggestions Kip, great advice. Alice I know how you feel about weekends, I am the same, was just crying on the sofa watching ‘First Dates’ again, I really need to stop watching that programme until I am healed! I think weekends just remind us that we are single. I too a really missing having someone to hold their hand and cuddle, it’s the whole skin hunger thing again, very normal but not easy to deal with at times.

Well done for reporting him, just take it each day at a time, it’s very hard to deal with but you’re doing all the right things. Sending you a big virtual hug 🙂

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