Head full of the past

[Itwastimetostopit]

Gosh started talking to a friend about when met him years ago. I’ve learnt since was all classic signs of dominator.

Got memories of things he did coming at me at moment. Can’t stop crying.

How can I regret when I got 2 gorgeous children from it?

I was too young he my first proper boyfriend.

Some things I’ve carried guilt with especially him alienating my family. I’ve just apologised to my sister for how he treat her.

You get stuck in it and you don’t see a way out. Then his behaviours become normal you just adjust to live with it.

My friend has suggested I write these memories down.

[Iwantmeback]

Hi itwastimetostopit, definately write the memories down, see it for what it was was, his manipulation of you, see How he would have used gaslighting on you, this was him, not you. It’s not your guilt, it’s his, but I know saying that doesn’t stop us from feeling guilty. You’re so right, you just live with it, it becomes normal. You couldn’t have stopped him treating your sister or family any differently, these men are vampires, pure and simple. It’s so easy to go with the flow, keep the peace. I’ve done it all my married life, and before, with him.
You’re a strong strong woman, you’ve gotten away from him. This is maybe your body’s way of allowing you the ability to deal with what he was, process it now that you’re stronger, and finally move on from it. It’s a hard road we walk, keep friends and family close, best wishes
IWMB 💕💕

[Itwastimetostopit]

When I say the stuff he did it’s awful. Sharing it makes it sound worse. Kept it to myself for a lot of years.

I will get a book to write in.

[Iwantmeback]

💚💜 it’s the opening up even to ourselves, isnt it, remembering things that have been buried into our subconscious. To acknowledge that you ‘put up’ with what he did, when really we did what we did to survive. A lot of what my oh has done to me and my children i didn’t even know it was abuse, i do know i remember thinking he’s nothing but a bully and i was brought up to ignore bullies. Not once did it cross my mind to leave him. That’s what confuses ME the most. But now that I’m aware, i do think of leaving, i think about it every day. One day i will do just that. Be kind to yourself. I wish you the strength to face your demons.💪💚💜
IWMB 💕💕

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