Head swirling

[RedStrawberry]

I don’t really know the point of this post but I feel like I need to get rid of the thoughts swirling around in my head. I’ve tried talking to friends but they don’t understand as they’ve been lucky enough never to have pleasure to meet one of these people. The local dv support aren’t interested as not together anymore. I’m feeling a mixture of anger sadness annoyed just really feel like I need to talk to someone who understands. I tried to have a reasonable conversation with ex about kids but straight away he wasn’t letting me finish sentence, saying irrelevant things to try and confuse me and then smirking at how clever he was when he stated a fact that meant he’d ‘won’. This was the first time I’d actually tried to talk to him properly in person since he left over years ago and it was exactly the same as when we were together except it was me trying to stand up for the kids and not myself. Im not surprised that he didn’t listen as he ignored anything I said but feel brave that I stood up to him. Its probably going to backfire on me now as he now knows what he has done in regards to kids has wound me up and ive probsbly given him the reaction that he wanted when I’ve grey rocked him for so long. I don’t know how I’m going to cope with him in my life till kids are grown up. I hoped he’d lose interest in them and just leave me alone but he’s gone out of his way to punish me via legal routes and get what he wanted. I feel drained and exhausted by him again when I thought I was starting to heal.

[Bananaboat]

That smirk, gosh we all know it well and it sends shudders down you. Well done for trying. It’s tough and sad that we can’t have sensible conversations about the kids with these people. Even sadder that the kids are just another weapon to them. You’re ok to have outbursts, like you said it’s what he’s wanted and you’re only human. Could you put the request in writing instead of trying to talk to him maybe? x

[tryingtosleep]

Hey @RedStrawberry

I know all about swirling thoughts – I think we all do – my head is constantly swirling – I find it so hard to read a book / watch tv these days because of them.

It must be really hard if this is the first time you tried to talk to him in years – well done for standing up to him. I think if it was me I would be terrified!

Are you sure dv support won’t help – maybe try another link – it doesn’t matter that you aren’t with him – it sounds like you are still struggling because of him and because of his abuse?

Like Bananaboat said – would you find it easier to message him – then its all written down.
I also worry about how to manage the kids and him – its so hard – it means that you are tied to that person – for x amount of years.

Remember – he might have ‘won’ one conversation – but it sounds like you are free and you are the real winner here. x*x

[RedStrawberry]

Thanks for your replies. Yes I think I will try writing if it continues. I will look into other dv support too. Oh yes the smirk I’ve definitely not missed that. I was terrified but I don’t want him treating my kids the way he treated me and have them think that behaviour is acceptable. It is so difficult @tryingtosleep to concentrate on things now everything just seems to overwhelm me now. But yes you are correct I am free and I will deal with the demons he has left me with

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